Hey Frances stop fucking.

best headline of today.

I have had an amazing week, I am tired I am sick. The sonics are playing good basketball. I used to be a huge sonics fan, but I didn't even know the season started. Comedy has become my new sport and I'm getting beat down by it. I just got an email from Beka that said I was a jizzshot. That rules.

I am at work right this very second. That's right ladies I have a job. You getting hot yet huh? I fucking work I bring home the preverbial bacon bitches. Thus making me almost the ultimate man. So I know you all wanted to bone me before just cause I'm hunky now you can throw "bread winner" into the mix. Yep ladies better change your undies. Goddammit I'm fucking rad.

See after all the attention I've received I now have what some people would call an "ego" it is a new thing to me. I am trying it out. When you see me now, don't look me in the eyes. Mostly don't speak until spoken to. I will raise the dead and speak to animals cause I am all powerful. Don't command me to let loose the hounds of hell upon thee....what the fuck am I talking about. To make sure I am completely unable to grow and maintain an ego I went to an open mic last night. I was actually really pleased I improv'd most of it and it went really well considering. That said the crowd laughed at anything, so not exactly a barometer for success.

I "wrote" two new jokes last night on stage. Then improv'd a joke that degraded into some rape thing. I don't know what that was all about. I actually think I'll use a couple of the things I used on stage last night in my act. If you can call my shitty material an "act".

Oh shit I need sleep.

-The Enforcer reminds the kids to "eat your wheaties"

"Is it good juggling?"