Long time no see

Holy smokes I haven't blogged in awhile, oh how I missed you all. I know my fans my many fans read this in anticipation to see what their demigod has said what jewels of wisdom I bequeth upon thee. Ok well how bout' this if you are cooking something don't forget about it and fall asleep on the couch because you will wake up to a smokey house. I learned this last night the hard way. Right now while I sit at work every window in my house is open trying still to air my place out. There are bits of eggs all over my kitchen where they exploded. Not a good idea to boil eggs for 2 hours. See you read this you LEARN things, things you don't get from other blogs.

Pork update 2004 tried some Portugese sausage (linguica) with my breakfast yesterday and I am happy to report that pork has again not let me down oh yeah yummy. Hey meat industry news flash last time I checked no Mad Pig disease. Me and the rest of the people in the Pork scene are happy thank you very much. We'll happily live out our lives filling our selves with many delicious cuts of pork and pork related products.

Tomorrow is the Jiggles Laugh off 2004's first night in Olympia. Hopefully I'll be able to bring the heat. It's a contest so truthfully I don't care I just want to know that I did what I came to do the rest will take care of itself. I will work out my five minute set tonight with some comics I have hand picked to help me only the elite to work on this very special project.

I got blown off by a 23 year old girl last night because her friend was having problems. See at 23 you think that I haven't heard that particular one before. I'm fricking 33 that is as old as dating itself. I will not call her again it is in her ball park. Hey news flash I like women note the plural on that. I ain't into this to get married I just want to have sex eat pork and live my life.

I fucking win chicks you don't have any control over me. Hallefuckingluyah! Holy christ. Line em up and pass the bacon.

Hugs and Kisses,

The muthfuckin Enforcer

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson