Someone doesn't like me
However, I may want to caution you that I intend to file court papers on anyone slandering me on the internet with my first and last name etc. That is not good for my business.
I am seeking counsel on Friday to research the matter further. I did already speak with my own personal attorney already! I can afford an attorney and it will be worth it just to make this backstabbing garbage end!
So I hope you all enjoyed it.
You will now have reasons to pee when I enter the room.
You are being unprofessional and mean. You are being cruel which by the way has nothing to do with comedy. It will come back to you!
It is amazing that I have so been able to get under your skin. You know what they say about the actors you hate in a movie. They did a good job acting. You as a comic should know that.
Who made you God to Judge then publicly insult people behind their back? Where I come from that is a Coward. You had a beef with me it is too bad you could not have communicated.
I have good contacts and know more people than you probably realize. I was born and raised here and I travel a great deal.
I will not be quiet about this at all!
It is too bad that you are in comedy. Obviously you will be mean to people you do not know. That attitude will not help you in the long run in this business getting gigs. Too bad you refuse to treat people like humans with a simple hello.
Sincerely,
Name withheld
Dear Name withheld,
I wasn't sure what this was all about because I don't tend to name anyone in my blogs or talk about too many people in general. My blogs tend to be pretty benign and poorly written but not normally offensive. I looked through and anything I could find that referenced you I removed. I am not particularily concerned about legal counsel but I wanted to remove your name anyway. I am not sure anyone reads these blogs but I will do that for you.
I will however retain the right to talk about anyone anytime on my blog if anyone has a problem with that send me an email if I offended you and let me know. I'm not sure fantasy legal counsel is needed. I am not sure winning a lousy vinyl collection in court is really worth it anyway.
You wonder why I didn't just say hello or get to know you. I remember the first day we met oh yes it was lovely I was standing at the top of the stairs at the underpants going over my set in my head. When you walked up and said "who the fuck do you think you are." "Fuck you you think your better then me?" "you ain't shit" "fucking this fucking that rat a tat something something". I still for the life of me don't know why you were angry at me, but that cemented you as a world class cunt in my mind. If this was "acting" then I apologize you should have let me in on the secret. I thought I was going to get into a fight on the stairs with a woman for reason that only you knew. I left thinking "I don't think I like her". Maybe you are a nice person if that's the case then I must have misread that situation. Let me clue you in on something I am a nice guy, but I won't put up with shit like that. I keep to myself at comedy clubs because I am trying to concentrate on what I'm doing not because I find myself superior to anyone. I also am an introvert and don't open up to people I don't know. If you can't take that then my opinion of "I don't care" still stands.
Hey I don't care what happened a year or two years ago if you are a nice person and I misread the situation then I'm sorry. That is a long time ago, so long ago that I forgot it happened. If there is anything referencing you then let me know and I will remove it.
Yours in Christ,
The Enforcer
"Is it good juggling?"

21 Comments:
dude.
what the fuck is this? do i need to kick someone's ass? isn't enough that you are not funny and have no friends?? huh? ISN'T IT ENOUGH???
is it me? it is, isn't it. what did i do? was it the lipgloss? call me when you come back o're the mountain. i know a great way to cheer you up. you missed a great turkey.
it's me isn't it?
b-
BTW..I can't believe you hacked my closer you fucking puss..and to think i stood up for you at thanksgiving dinner when one of those asshole finalists reworked a bit of yours at me and i called him on it and kicked him in the shells..
i am calling MY lawyer too.cause you are a paltry fucker.
what comic calls their lawyer? whatever happened to teh good ol days when you just blanket party a fucker?
give our love to your daughter. i am seriously going to kick your ass when you get back.
your sister in christ(except broussaeu because he is an asshole),
beka
I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to talk to you like that. You just make me so angry. I just love you so much and then you talk like that and it makes mommy angry. and then i hurt you.
why do you have to make me so angry? huh baby? i don't want to hurt you like that. let's just go in the back of the trailer and make up.you don't talk like that and use my closer and i won't get so love-angry at you anymore.
baby, i do love you. now let mommy get the good pillow for your knees so we can make up.
my coffee just kicked in. beka
ps. if this offended anyone, contact my attorney
Dude.
Seriously. Somebody knows somebody and that somebody knows a lawyer and holy fucking shit you are in TROUBLE. Because this is AMERICA MOTHERFUCKER AND I WILL FUCKING SUE YOU BECAUSE I KNOW SOME PEOPLE THAT CAN BOOK YOU ON ROAD GIGS TELLING DICK JOKES TO REDNECKS!!!
That is what comedy is. I know people that will never go anywhere and they won't help you get there if you mess with me. So think about that when you are not smoking pot and being cool like us because we smoke pot and watch porn and tell dirty jokes and say "fuck" a lot because that is free speech and we know lawyers but we don't really read or think critically and another thing don't fuck around because I am ethnic and did I mention I know a lawyer, motherfucker?!!
Geoff, I am really sorry the author of this letter's father didn't throw her mother down the stairs when they found out about "the embarassment."
MY LAWYER CAN KICK YOUR LAWYER'S ASS. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
I would please request that everyone over 40 please dress appropriately from this point forward.
The Commander
"Extreme Spelling Champion"
geoff,
is blaine mad at me cause i smoke pot now?
is somebody on the comedy rag? is that what the lawyer thing is all about? please email me and let me know who cuz i need to know and i am cool and people like me.
b-
Thanks giving...
First.
Beka I stole your closer cause it's awesome. I will however not use it anymore I have decided to use "Yours in Evil" from now on. That way we are like opposites. Yin to your Yang so to speak. Sorry for being a hack. Sometimes I can't help myself good is good.
I love you.
Blaine you rule that was funny. I have great friends and now that this person is ruining my career I am glad I still have you guys.
-Geoff
Ho.
Lee.
Shit.
Now THIS is funny. Not so much in a sight-gag, prop-comic, banana-peel kind of way, more like in a deluded, self-aggrandizing yet horrifically insecure kind of way.
Just be cool, dude. This person has their own personal attorney, exclamation point. That spells trouble. As in they've been in plenty of it before.
Never use last names. Use nicknames whenever possible. And don't slander anybody. Most people can usually destroy themselves without much help from the outside.
Praying for a Thinning of The Herd,
GBLott
Geoff,
Yeah, this shit sucks and stuff. I'm sorry. But, you should see my new hair. It's pretty. And nothing is more soothing than a pretty woman.
Mine in Theory,
Lizzy
I don't want to make this any goofier than it already is, but seriously Brousseau, this "is not good for (their) business." Do you understand the lucrative career they are pursuing? Not everyone gets a shot at $30 in cash and coupons to MC at a Thai restaurant.
To quote the Black Eyed Peas:
"Where Is The Love?"
To paraphrase the Black Eyed Peas:
"It Got Retarded In Here."
~Lott
geoff-
i totally agree.
lizzy does have really pretty hair, and it's purple and that is so fucking cool.
and no matter what you do, just like i told you last night, i will not kiss you. please stop asking me. it's uncomfortable to me, made only more uncomfortable when you start crying about it.
your fan,
beka
I thought I was the only one that cried when touched.
Oh wait did I read that right?
Don't worry Shoogles, I don't think that an attorney you retain by dialing an 800 number on late-night local television is going to put too large of a chink in your armor.
Ha I said chink.
that was very racist and i din't think it was funny at all.
i hope you and your racist friends are drinking lots of water in cabo. a good case of dysentery would knock those pies out of you but good.
i hope you and the racists are laughing it up in the sun, while i sit here and shiver and rue the day i didn't get smokes last night. it is cold out and i don't want to go to the 7-11 braless, xause there is a cuban guy who works there weekends, and you know how those friggin rafters are, he'll be undressing me within seconds. cuz i am a hot piece and the cubanos like me.
you should use spf 4, or maybe baby oil, while you are there. get some real sun, take it like a man.
tell your little group that i said shalom.
beka
What a fucking surprize that the whore bitch cunt offensive and occasionally violent but rarely funny and not quite not white ElLinda would need a lawyer on speed dial.
yours in christ,
everyone who's ever delt with her in this or any life
Nice to see the comments have taken on a pleasant twist.
I'm sorry. I forgot my pom poms.
Well here. Have a chrome plated, brand name can of carbonated and sugary good vibes. It comes with a built in MP3 player and a matching sports car with a case of that trendy pheromone deodorant they no longer make so don't pass up this opportunity.
Happy? I just wanted to even out the aura of the comment thread.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for organic yoga and I still have to drop my cat off at the chiropractor.
I find it ironic and amusing that you're being passive aggressive about someone not being positive.
Consume.
Conveniently,
Blaine
I find it ironic and rote that you are commenting on passive-aggressive behavior.
good one..that was funny blaine because she made you look foolish and making you look foolish make me feel warm inside.
beka
i find it interesting that you keep using big words that i don't understand.
geoss is a god that is just misunderstood and dorky. we should all recognize that right away before i continue.
he is like a really good box of wine that has sat on the albertsons shelf for just the right amount of time.
if this person with a grievance has a problem with geoff, then bu god she has a problem with at least three more of us. in times like thses it is important to band together, to be an alliance of the funny. to show our colors like some backwoods jingoist that doesn't even know what they are fighting for.
Yes! these are the days we shall rise above geoffoppression and fight that powers that strive so hard to hold us down! we will triumph!! we will succeed!! they will stop being mean to geoff! we will be the victors!!
WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!
your sister and mine,
beka
SPELL CHECK
i find it interesting that you keep using big words that i don't understand.
geoff is a god that is just misunderstood and dorky. we should all recognize that right away before i continue.
he is like a really good box of wine that has sat on the albertsons shelf for just the right amount of time.
if this person with a grievance has a problem with geoff, then by god she has a problem with at least three more of us. in times like these it is important to band together, to be an alliance of the funny. to show our colors like some backwoods jingoist that doesn't even know what they are fighting for.
Yes! these are the days we shall rise above geoffoppression and fight those powers that strive so hard to hold us down! we will triumph!! we will succeed!! they will stop being mean to geoff! we will be the victors!!
WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!! GEOFF WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!
your sister and mine,
beka
i think this version has more "punch" ro it, don't you?
Beka...I love you.
Post a Comment
<< Home