HAX

We did our second show this week, it went better I think. I am just feeling really really run down. I have my classes at night so my day starts at seven and I get home at 10. I really don't want to talk about addiction any more ever again.

I'm officially addictioned out.

I think it's interesting to force myself to think about my drinking for that much time a day. It doesn't answer a lot of questions for me. I definitely show the signs of alcoholism. The trying to stop for periods of time to "prove" to myself that I could. The drinking even though I didn't really want to. Once I became a daily drinker I started having a bit of a problem I think. If I didn't have a problem before that then once I started doing that I put myself down the road towards that. I am not craving it I never really drank alone or in non social situations. I dont' know if I am or not. I think I am having an easy time sans alcohol right now, but that will I'm sure change over the next two years. I don't know if I will drink again, but I won't drink today - One Day At A Time.  It took me a week before I started quoting things I heard in the class. I promise not to ever do that again.

I miss drunk sex that pointless sweaty thing where my cock works sporadically and it never ends until one person says uncle then both members roll over and go to sleep.

I ate pork for the first time in awhile last night. What a revelation, that is a tasty meat. I was cutting through my thick pork cutlet and a small voice said very distinctly "Pork will help you through it ....just believe...use the pork Luke" - my name isn't luke but I got the message.

Grab your purse we're out of here,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"