Oops I did it again

I stare into the morning sky which always seems too bright.
I look out at benches that seem too empty.
The city marches on to it's clattering beat. Sirens scream down streets.
I think of the person who died last night.
they were born to a family who loved them if only for a moment.
Now they're dead, and their family is eating chicken pot pie.
While he floats empty into a too bright morning sky.

I marched today on an ant hill of back pain and regret.
I can't win it seems and there in lies my pain
and regret.
To the future I have not met
of the present I do not meet.
Will I ever measure up?
Or will life measure me. short.
Too short to go on the ride.
I farm a web of unorganized thought.
Unable to free myself from the membranes that bind.
my thoughts from true expression.
and expression that is not held back by past issues and repression.
Why can't I be free, is it my apathy.
What will change.
will the change come from Me or the word of god.
or the word of a lamp that sounds like my father who sounds like darth vader.

<>A man once asked me "is it good juggling?" Yeah man.
it's pretty damned good juggling.

-The Enforcer