First rule of Comedy Mafia

A disturbing thing happened over the weekend, I overheard many comments from local comics about the mafia and our blogs. I don't know who has been talking but this was never intended for people to read, it is just my personal take on shit, but if people are reading it then know this I ain't changing anything. I will be more truthful now I am not changing anything. I got called the enforcer over the weekend by a comic, this was weird. What the fuck do I have to start worrying about punctuation and grammar.

I was in a contest over the weekend.

I had my daughter on Sunday and we made cookies, that was pretty awesome. I ate like 8 of the cookies. I had no idea how good sugar cookies were until I hadn't eaten one in a very long time. I have been on Atkins and sugar ain't part of it. Oh man sugar is tasty oh so tasty. You know what else is tasty. I went for the trifecta this weekend Linguica Saturday morning, sausages and egg scramble on Sunday. This was all followed by a pork chop on Sunday night. That is a goddamned hat trick people. Them horizontal humans are tasty buggers.

I have gone up 10 times in the last 7 days and I am burned out. I am having fun but man I am physically burned out. I thought it was hard to watch comedy before man I can't watch it at all anymore. I went up 6 times from Friday until last night. Last night was unnecessary I don't know why I went up at all.

I am going to take the next couple of days off and relax. Try to get some sleep and enjoy quiet solitude. I am going to go up on Wednesday then Thursday and take next weekend off. I want to hang out with some chickidys though and I have grown accustomed to doing that through comedy. I will have to come up with some kind of alternative.

The following is a quote from Paris Hilton god what a pain in the ass this chick is.

"I went to this pet store and bought a baby goat, a ferret, and this one animal that was like a half monkey, half raccoon," she tells to the mag. "They were like, 'This isn't a traveling circus. You're not bringing a goat on the plane.' So I ended up having to drive back to L.A. in a limo all by myself for six hours with the animals." But since she paid for the animals, we're guessing they were nice to her, though probably not so nice to the interior of the limo.

This is a pet peeve of mine. When women say "hello" before a sentence. That ain't funny ok knock that shit off. Hello live in the now ladies.

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson