Yeah uh huh why not

I have my daughter this whole week which is nice. She says some just amazingly heart wrenchingly cute sweet things to me. I feel my heart swell and feel like it's going to burst when I realize that she feels that way about me. I realize that I make my daughter happy and she loves me so much. So basically all the shit in this world doesn't really fucking matter to me. Fuck you shitheads I have my daughter you don't matter, oh just kidding please love me. Maybe I will raise a young lady without "DAD ISSUES" well there should be at least one woman out there like that.

I went to my class last night and they had guest speakers. One of the speakers was really fucking hot. Like scream her name while masturbating hot. Well anyway she was sitting in front of me and had a skirt on and I could see up the skirt. That was the most self conscience hour and a half ever. I kept looking up her skirt while people are telling heart wrenching stories of what happened in their lives. "Then my dad told me that he wouldn't help me and that he was just waiting for me to turn up dead in an alleyway"......"Oh man I can see her panties". Then I went outside and she flirted with me. Maybe she noticed the struggle I was having averting my eyes.

It will never work with us she is clean and sober and I dont' want someone telling me I can't drink anymore. That is just too much pressure. What if I fell off the wagon and made her fall off the wagon and she fell back into using. I can't take that kind of responsibility I think I will leave this relationship at the "staring up her skirt" stage.

Can you smell what the rock is cooking.........pork?

Kiss the sky,

<>The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

The week in review

Well I have had quite an interesting week. I did my first full feature set out in Monroe. I did 25 minutes. I would not call this a great show that I put, but I think I looked like I knew what I was doing. Considering I have not been able to get up on stage because of the classes I'm in I thought I did fine. I enjoy that much time on stage. I feel like there is as much time as I need as opposed to feeling rushed. As much as I realize as a performer I am not there yet, I felt really proud. The show felt like the first step of something bigger. I have settled into my routine now of rushing around constantly. The few moments I do have to myself seem much nicer.

I have a show tomorrow featuring which I hope to build off of and stretch and tighten up. I realized after the first show that I could have done more time which is a confidence booster. I didn't do quite a few jokes and I also screwed up jokes in the middle. Brad Upton whom I featured for so was very gracious and complimentary. Watching him work was a bit of revelation, that guy is just such a solid pro. Brad was a seriously nice dude and very f'n funny. I really enjoy seeing real pros at work. They make it seem effortless even though we all know better.

We are working on the show this weekend Geoff and I are working together on Saturday. We plan to hopefully work on some "on the road" stuff and work it into a skit. We are doing a best of show on Tuesday. We figured we had 2 shows in the can why not. Its weird to have nothing but road rooms for a week and a half. I must say it's nice to get out of Seattle for a little while.

My whole family is in town which is amazing we haven't all been together since I was 12 which is pretty cool. They all want to come out and see me which should be interesting if I can put it together. So everyone take a look around see all the people with the big ass eyes glinting in the light yeah that's my family. Just look for the Italian moles that's my family.

For having as much shit going on in my life as there is I feel really centered and calm and serene. I am not sure why. Maybe its the thought that at home I have enough food in my fridge to eat for another week and a half. Maybe it's the thought that chicks dig me no matter what anyone thinks. I officially do not have a pot to piss in, but it's ok today.

For the record I want to say I really freaking enjoy being sober all the time. I spend my time in class with some really wonderful people who are open and caring. I think sobriety brings out the best in people and gives you the best chance at caring relationships. I love watching men break down their macho walls and speak openly. Once they do it's like a flood gate and you can tell they have been wanting to do it their whole lives but felt like they couldn't.

I also like not spending 30 bucks a night. Now that money goes to hookers instead. Oh and to gambling. Oh I am SOOOO much better now.

I have never fucked a hooker I wonder what that would be like. If you guys want me to just leave me a comment if enough of you do I will go pick one up and tell you what it was like.

In summary I have two shows this week I am working on some video footage for the public access show this weekend with Geoff. I am loved by women everywhere my comedy is brilliant and I speak eloquently and with great humility.

Rock on douchebags,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"