Goddammit!

I got notice that said make sure that you don't step foot on your deck and that they need to get into your apartment and replace all your windows so please move all your shit away from the windows so they can tromp all over your apartment and hopefully not steal anything. Oh and we aren't giving you a break on your rent either. Have a nice day.

It is a big joke really isn't it.

Fuck you Everspring Terrace,

The Enforcer

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson

ok I just had something funny happen to me

I was over getting a diet coke at the 7/11 across the street from work and I started having a nervous breakdown. I was pouring the viscous liquid when I started crying.

Then I realized it wasn't the best place to cry although I've seen bums in there crying before. I also realized that the last time I cried was when I put my dog to sleep and before that when my daughter was being born and before that telling a buddy about the time I was molested by a guy when I was 8 and before that when I was graduating high school and I realized that I had managed to fuck around for four years to the point that I was graduating with a 1.87 GPA and I was looking at either military or shitty jobs for a long time. I chose shitty jobs btw.

I realized that bouncing a check for rent is nowhere near as big a deal as these things and I was being a giant pussy.

Ok perspective can be a giant relief.

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson

NO pork for you

I was evaluating my life right now and stressing pretty hard. I appeared to have had the brain fart of all time. My manager came over last night to collect rent from me which I couldn't afford to pay her earlier this month. I wrote her a check and then realized that I have to pay payday loan back first.

###Please disregard all the following because I am stressed out and don't make a lot sense or make rational decisions when I'm stressed########

I am sick and fucking tired of living in seattle and worrying about money all the time. My child support has done nothing but go up over time and rent is expensive even though this is a shitty fucking town that I could give a fucking rats ass about living in anyway. I have stressed and stressed every fucking year about money every year I've lived here and I'm sick of it. I would like to have a place to live that I am happy with in an area I want to live but I can't do that. I instead need to do something like share a one bedroom with my daughter give her the bed and sleep in the living room fucking yea! that is just fucking rad I can't wait to do that FUCKING KICK ASS SLEEPING IN THE LIVING ROOM IN MY 30'S fuck you seattle take your shitty weather your pc fuckhead citizens and shove it up your ass.

If I bounce my rent check I am moving from the city this weekend or at least starting the process. I am going to move closer to my daughter I will give up comedy but that is ok I would rather just not stress about my life day in and day out I can't take it any longer. I can take a shitty job over there working in a restaurant and live in a nicer place then I live in now. At least over there I would be able to see my daughter more and I wouldn't have to stress every fucking day about MONEY MONEY MONEY and more money.

I have been trying so hard to put on a happy face for the last three years while I have gone through all the shit I have gone through and I'm frankly tired of it. I am not happy and I am changing things cause I am not going through this for one more year. Every morning when I get up and think that I just paid full rent for a place covered in plastic and I am going to have to some shitty place I DON'T want live or live in a studio or one bedroom with my daughter I get so fucking depressed I want to fucking shoot myself in the face.

I want to take my desk and throw it out the window right now and scream fuck it I quit shove this job and this city up your ass (and I actually like my job). I have gone no where in my life I might as well be 18 and moving out of my parents house for the first time. I have fucking made myself a shitty life and I won't put up with it any more.

##END OF POINTLESS RANT##

FUCK EVERYTHING,

The Enforcer

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson

MSN Entertainment - News - Avril Glowers

Can't we as rich stupid white kids just get along and cash our enormous checks?

MSN Entertainment - News - Avril Glowers

If you thought I made it up

USS RONALD REAGAN (CVN 76) "Peace Through Strength"

And it was last seen just circling off the coast pissing itself.

it's 9:56 do you know where your drunk son is Mom?

Holy shit its 9:57 and I am through a six pack of Miller Lite I had sitting around the house. I just got done doing some Kung Fu after air guitarring to some punk rock. I also talked to GLott
I want to mouth kiss him I love that guy. Some might think that air guitaring doing Kung Fu and Shadow boxing with furniture is immature and shows well to put it bluntly that one has a drinking problem. I disagree I find it indeering others might not that is why I love me and don't give a fuck what others think. Killorn told me that I come across as an asshole to comics that don't know me and that worried me a little bit. I have been doing comedy for a little while now and I know some of the new comics have felt nervous about talking with me but truthfully I thought that was cause I hung out with The Mastermind and they were just scared of him. Well if I came across that way I'm sorry please feel to talk to me I am not a jerk, that is however if you suck as a comic please don't talk to me at all ok. That way I don't have to say something mean that will humiliate you forever in front of all the comics that you look up to and are trying to impress. That said I can't wait to talk to all the new comics.

Fuck you all .....I'm sorry was that inappropriate?,

The Enforcer

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson

coreyfeldman.com -- Home The Official Web Site

fuck yeah!
coreyfeldman.com -- Home The Official Web Site

For all of you who didn't notice that is his ALBUM yes Corey is quite the singer and you can purchase his album I'm sure it rocks. Check it out and also sign up for the email list to find out what Corey is doing next. That character always into mischief.

If this doesn't make you weep then you are just hard and not worth loving A message from Corey

Yes Corey that is a powerful message and I to LOVE PEACE NOT WAR!!!!!

My weekend my life and a story about pork

I would like to quickly summarize my weekend. I went to Laughs Friday and Saturday. Friday there was a small crowd 3 comics I liked one of the comics she knows who she is. She doesn't like her stuff which means she will end up funnier for caring. If you think you're great and get satisfied that equals unfunny. I didn't really think I did very well either night, man I just dont' know what I'm doing on stage right now. The crowd seemed to like me ok so I guess I shouldn't get so worried....see above. Saturday no comics showed up and the place was sold out, I left because there was no place to sit that is how full it was. I think I did 10-12 on Saturday again I didn't feel like I was doing very well but the crowd seemed to like me ok.

I think that the reason I don't like what I'm doing right now is that my sets are hap hazard and not organized very well. I will work on that soon.

My life is a fucking living hell right now. I have no money and I need to move out now. I can't sleep past 6:30 in the morning any more because the work outside is so loud on my building. I woke up to CLANG CLANG "HEADS UP!" when someone dropped a huge metal thing that banged its way down the side of my building. My room was shaking this morning when they were working. They were also working on my fucking deck can you believe that huh huh? Oh well sometimes god tests you to find out what kind of guts you have. Thats what I hear I don't believe in god so I just think life is fucking with me just for shits and giggles.

Status star log 2120 on a mission to eat pork and be happy. I am sad to report I have not eaten pork or a pork product in weeks. This is due mostly tho the fact that I don't have any food in my house. This morning I had chicken breakfast sausage which is totally yummy but doesn't have any fat. My heart has to work hard enough keeping my liver functioning I don't want to put undo pressure on it.

"I should have ended with my Jesus fucking a goat bit" -Peter Johnson