Hey Frances stop fucking.

best headline of today.

I have had an amazing week, I am tired I am sick. The sonics are playing good basketball. I used to be a huge sonics fan, but I didn't even know the season started. Comedy has become my new sport and I'm getting beat down by it. I just got an email from Beka that said I was a jizzshot. That rules.

I am at work right this very second. That's right ladies I have a job. You getting hot yet huh? I fucking work I bring home the preverbial bacon bitches. Thus making me almost the ultimate man. So I know you all wanted to bone me before just cause I'm hunky now you can throw "bread winner" into the mix. Yep ladies better change your undies. Goddammit I'm fucking rad.

See after all the attention I've received I now have what some people would call an "ego" it is a new thing to me. I am trying it out. When you see me now, don't look me in the eyes. Mostly don't speak until spoken to. I will raise the dead and speak to animals cause I am all powerful. Don't command me to let loose the hounds of hell upon thee....what the fuck am I talking about. To make sure I am completely unable to grow and maintain an ego I went to an open mic last night. I was actually really pleased I improv'd most of it and it went really well considering. That said the crowd laughed at anything, so not exactly a barometer for success.

I "wrote" two new jokes last night on stage. Then improv'd a joke that degraded into some rape thing. I don't know what that was all about. I actually think I'll use a couple of the things I used on stage last night in my act. If you can call my shitty material an "act".

Oh shit I need sleep.

-The Enforcer reminds the kids to "eat your wheaties"

"Is it good juggling?"

and now I'm depressed

I have probably had more fun doing this contest then I have had in comedy so far. I have met some amazing people that I love to death. Jen Kober is still in first I thought people were going to disembowell themselves after her Witney song in Bellingham. I'm sure that means another 1st place. She is a very sweet girl, and I wish her all the luck in the world. I have felt pretty proud of myself up until last night. I had an awful set in Moses Lake but I didn't feel that bad about it. I was very much in contention until last night, where I just sucked the pipe. Everything was off my timing my delivery my energy. I was truthfully embarassed.

That doesn't change the great times I've spent with Gabriel (who is just kicking ass Gabe is a fucking great comic), Beka, Peter, Tony B, Tony D, and the rest of the amazing people I have met or spent time with. I feel privileged to be doing comedy with them.

Oh fuck I bombed last night. I deserved last place I don't know what I got, because I left like a little baby. I was so depressed and pissed at myself after the show that I wasn't a whole lot of fun to be around. Beka had to talk me down and offer me a blow job to get me to even smile. I spoke of killing myself quite a bit. I decided instead to go home curl up in bed and watch the history channel and watch some Nazis get shot or something. Instead it was about Alexander the Great. I wasn't really into it so I fell asleep.

This contest has been such a great experience I just wish I could have done better last night so I wouldn't "what if" myself to death.

Dammit.

God I hope this makes me a better comic and doesn't break me of my will to live. Tonight I hope I can do well.

Rock on I guess.

"Is it good juggling?"