Thursday, January 06, 2005

I'm sorry

I was a complete jack ass last night. I did the one thing I think I hate more then any other. I ate stage time away from other comics. To add to that I fucking wanked on stage. I brought nothing and took away from other comics to boot. I swear on all that is holy I will try to never do that again. I got Meghan bumped (I didn't realize she was there) and took away from everyone elses minutes. I just sat on the stage mentally masturbating. I am really fucking pissed at myself.


The Enforcer says "I'm sorry"


"Is it good juggling?"

Monday, January 03, 2005

2005!

Happy new year every one. I hope all is well and I hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas and the New Year.


I am very thankful right now. I am amazed that people put up with me for another year. I had a great time with my daughter. She didn't want to go home so I think she had fun too. She made such a fuss that her mom has promised to make more time for me in her schedule. Pretty kick ass.

I have made several resolutions that I hope I can fulfill. They basically all involve me being better to people. I need to be more tolerant and patient with people around me. I need to be a better friend to those close to me. The rest involves me paying off my debt and jacking off less.

Speaking of jacking off, after my daughter left yesterday I was playing with myself like my cock was a new toy. I haven't jacked off that much since high school. I feel a little ashamed but mostly I feel tired.Screaming "whore" while you ejaculate in front of a computer monitor will take it out of you.

Here are the highlights of my week.

I picked my daughter up at 10 on Christmas eve. We woke up and opened gifts after which she kept asking me if we should put some cookies out for Santa again. I assured her that he had already come and wasn't coming back. She says "but I didn't get everything I asked him for, maybe he missed some stuff and he's coming back with the rest". Suffice it to say my daughter is a little spoiled. She was a great girl though and became very appreciative of the stuff she received especially this game I bought her. We must have played it 20 times while she was here.

I got a call on the 1st and went down and did two shows and went home which was the only comedy I did during the break. I really enjoyed not doing comedy I think I will continue with doing comedy less and writing more. The tour I was supposed to go on doesn't look like it's going to happen. I haven't received any dates yet for a series of shows that are supposed to happen this month. I hope it goes off as planned but I doubt it's happening, maybe next month.

To any of the many people in my life I wanted to say thank you for being incredible friends. I can honestly say that the group of people in my life right now are the best group of people I've ever been around. I love each and everyone of you and I have so much to be thankful for this year. I have truly surrounded myself with just amazing talented funny great people. I had a trip to Mexico which is something I never thought I would do which was amazing. I spent an amazing time in an amazing place with amazing people. The times I have spent with everyone at the comedy clubs have been freakin great. I don't want to seem so "happy shiny people" right now but when I think about how lucky I am to have the kind of friends that I have I almost feel weepy.

By the way Blaine bought me an incredible book called "American Hardcore" about the hardcore scene of the early 80's that we both grew up on. What a great gift from a great person. Thank you.

I just wanted to say thank you to my friends for giving me one of the best years of my life. I know it's hard to believe that I would say that after all the allusions to killing myself this year but it's true. I am a fucking lucky dude.

All this and a huge cock, man I feel like that dude at the end of "It's a wonderful life" except that I'm not doing anything important for people and I don't deserve anything I receive. Later.

The Enforcer reminds you to "Floss motherfucker"

"Is it good juggling?"