I don't get it

President Bush today compared dependence on overseas oil to a "foreign tax on the American people" and proposed a series of initiatives to fight the problem, including more nuclear plants and using technology to develop new energy sources. It was his second energy speech in a week and comes ahead of the summer driving season when gas prices traditionallly soar.


Ok here is my take .....what the fuck does building new nuclear power plants have to do with foreign oil?

I love how Bush constantly uses terrorism to justify doing whatever he fucking wants with the environment or personal freedom.

ok rant over but can someone explain how one thing has to do with the other?

Also can someone explain the rebuplicans love of Nuclear energy. It frightens me a great deal, and if you disagree ask yourself if you want one in your backyard. I was driving by a beer company in Oregon once and they were on a lake front where I assume their water comes from and across the lake were three Nuclear plants, I will never drink that beer again.

Is Bush proposing nuclear powered cars?

I'm just confused that's all.

"Is it good juggling?"

Leap bitches leap

I worry because I'm just not like everybody else.

I had a girl come up to me who's beautiful, interesting, funny, nice, the whole shibang. She pointed to her finger to show me she is engaged.

My first thought without thinking was "what a fucking idiot" what are you 23. Who told you that would be a good idea, have you ever thought it over?

I chose to drink myself into blackouts nightly at your age.

Your decision is even more stupid then that cause guess what I don't have to do that anymore.

Have fun as you get more and more bored and start thinking wow why did I waste my youth on marriage. Jesus did I marry him cause he had a Jetta what was I thinking?

Maybe this is a great thing. See this is why I am so cut off from everyone else. I don't want what everybody else seems to pray for. Marriage, safe suburbs, kids.. Being a father is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. But I still dont' pray for a nice place in the burbs with a swing set in the backyard. I would sufficate in that world. You would find me running through the neighborhood with a crazed look on my face screaming "how the fuck did I end up here"..."Sir are you alright"..."fuck you I'm not one of you"

Why can't I just believe that she's made a great decision? I don't know her. Its quite likely that she's more mature then I am. Even though I have 10 years on her. How the fuck did I get so cynical.

I think of life like a party I never want to leave the party because I think something really cool is always about to happen. Most of the time nothing cool ever happens but I don't want give up on that. I always make the decision to add anything into my life that might stop the the cool thing from happening. like a Wife, kids, fences, yards, dinners everyday at 6.

What the fuck is wrong with that though?

Nothing is wrong with that.

Then why do I think people are stupid for going after their dreams because they aren't my dreams? Pettiness? Insecurity?

I have a dream to make it in comedy. That is a ridiculous dream. The chances are slim to none. That isn't going to change my mind, I've haven't done it the rest of my life because I thought there was no point because it's impossible to make it in comedy. Well I tried a normal life and it sucked. Does it suck worse then my current suck? Yes it did.

I think this way of thinking guarantees me a lot of heartache. Jesus I hope I'm making the right decision. I also hope she is too because she is great person. I guess we never know we just go with our whorehearts.

No answers,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

Jeff Foxworthy

This is a great article


The article discusses how Foxworthy became the greatest selling comedian of all time. Interesting stuff. Did you notice I didn't put Foxworthy down. I say good for him there is room for us all, he just has smarter people working for him.

"Is it good juggling?"

I gots some acting for you

I shot a commercial or at least I was on the set on Sunday. I ended up improv'n a long section that is not going to be in the commercial but they liked it and are going to use it to make a short film instead. Then they are going to enter the short film in SIFF and use the film for some different stuff. I think this is pretty goddamned cool. I was pretty worried they gave me no character and no direction and told me to do whatever I wanted, which is great but scary when a room is sitting there watching you "be funny". I am very thankful it worked out well.

Really cool experience, I can't wait to do another.

We shot some stuff for HAX last night and let me be the first to say after watching the video that is done already....look the fuck out. This shit is good. Really really good. I couldn't believe it. Tony has some serious editing skills and the rest of hax is fucking hilarious. We shot some stuff last night and I got to unvail my character "Buzz Wingman". I had fun hopefully it turns out funny. Seriously if we keep the level of quality as high as what I saw last night, we are going to take the fuck over. Those are some seriously funny mofos. I was laughing out loud at a video my friends shot and edited...that is freaking awesome.

-The Enforcer is coming to a theater near you

"Is it good juggling?"

Wazzu in the hizzle

Pullman rules, I haven't been there since I was two years old. What a cool ass place. I had a lot of fun. Tony and I originally were supposed to do 45 and 1.5 hours respectfully. Which is lot. Killorn decided to come with us which helped she ate up 30 minutes. Then I inexplicably did an hour.

An hour.

That is a milestone for me.

Was it good? Was I good for an hour...

absolutely not. I ate hot lead for most of the show. The stuff that got the best reaction was the stuff I riffed.

Here are some of my riffed jokes.....

"I am staying at a shithole in Lewiston thanks to the people who put this show on. Well it's not a complete shithole I have satellite tv well when the burning crosses aren't interfering with the signal"

-That Joke got a "Jesus Christ this guy stinks" from a guy near the bathroom.

To a guy who took my picture "Oh fucking great you're taking my picture now my failure can be in someone's scrapbook"

-Silence

"I would like to thank the young women here who even though they are here with their moms still dressed trampy ...Don't let them tell you what to do you're a big girl now"

-Hatred

"Oh you guys are so polite thank you for ssshing everyone that is really nice I appreciate that...how bout this though ssssshhhhhhhhhhhutt the fuck up!"

-Mix of hatred and fear

Ok all jokes aside Killorn did REALLY well. Tony did REALLY well. I shit the bed for 45 of the 60 minutes I was on stage. I truthfully don't know what I did wrong. Do I have an hour....helll no. I did some stuff that as it left my mouth I realized that there is a reason I don't do that anymore on stage. They laughed at the end so when I left they told me how much they liked me....only because they couldn't remember the other 45 minutes of my act I guess.

On a plus side two racist fucks told me how much they appreciated my humor after the show threw in the N word and then I told them to shut the fuck up. Apparently something in my act led them to believe I was in the Klan or something. Oh when I did my joke where I ask people to raise their hand if their racist 6(6!) people raised their hand. That joke only works if no one raises their hand.

They told us how much they like the show so..job well done I guess. I have a lot of work to do.

The Enforcer says "College doesn't make you smart and the future of our country is stupid"

"Is it good juggling?"

the job of Stand up Comedy

The following is from a website that Blaine and I found while working together at the company that should not be named.

These are the things that the tapes or whatever this guy is selling deal with. I put some comments on here which are my opinion.

Getting Ready

* How to determine which of the 6 styles of comedy is best for you - Hopefully you choose one that's funny.
* 5 tips to prepare for the stage (including what to wear and how to work with a microphone)-Try wearing clothes oh and don't forget to try and be funny.
* Where to find comedy classes and coaches. - There is a right way and a wrong way to describe the differences between cats and dogs.
* Tips on writing comedy
* different ways to get jokes written for you (including how to contact a freelance writer who has written for Jay Leno and Bill Maher)
* Do's and don'ts for working with an audience, including how to handle hecklers
* How to get chosen to perform at "open mic" nights

Getting Hired

* Easy and inexpensive ways to get the materials you need to get hired, including:
o Headshots
o Demo tapes
o Bio (includes a sample bio to help you prepare your own)
o Press kit
* The best cities to launch your career, and how to get started no matter where you live (I have a feeling I'm not in this city)
* What you need to know about doing "road work" (traveling from city to city)Do you like pee stained motel rooms?
* Where to find contact information for comedy clubs in America and Canada
* What to say to bookers to get hired
* Opportunities for you to perform comedy for:
o Cruise ships- Are you clean...do old people like you?
o Comedy festivals
o Corporations- Are you clean...do soulless people like you?
o Colleges- Are you clean...do dumbass kids like you?
* How to get a manager or agent to find work for you-Oh man this is the holy grail for me...I don't like to work.
* How to break into the comedy business in New York and Los Angeles-First step move there second step......do comedy.

"Is it good juggling?"

introspection

World,

Last night I watched Spanglish the movie with Adam Sandler (Who I'm changing my mind on, he made punch drunk love, this and something else I liked) I absolutely loved the movie. I wish more movie's made me feel like this film did. It's some light fluff but I loved it. Any movie that makes me really care about the characters and has even a remote sense of realism and depth to the characters is rare. I went to bed with a smile on my face after that movie god I wish more movies were good.

Speaking of movies I am feeling a little blue (pardon the pun) I was taking an inventory of the pornos I currently own and holy shit I have become a sad little man wrapped in raincoat who scares kids.

I could not believe the filth I own (I burned them onto DVD). I was taking a look at the titles and feeling kind of like I had hit rock bottom on the porn wagon.

Here are some of the titles

"From her ass to her mouth" wow I don't even like saying this one out loud. That whole ass to mouth move isn't my favorite but I believe I have touched myself during this one. Wow what a sad man I have become.

"Teenage Spermaholics #2" Man I better put this one on my resume this is one I'm proud to have in the old collection. I don't think I need to describe this one, just believe me these girls have problems sperm being the least of their concerns. Starring in this diddy is a bigger issue. Me owning this one and stroking the old hog to it is saddest of all.

"Assploitations" not only is the name shitty but so is the "movie". I am mostly embarassed of this one cause it sucks.

"Me Luv U long time #5" First I think it's funny they are on number 5, but second I am embarassed about this asian orientated porn because it is HACK.

"Just over 18 #6" Don't judge they said "over".

"School of hard cock" Oh man this is one to put on the mantle, jesus christ Geoff why...how.

Finally "Buttman's anal divas" and "Anal Trainer" ....oh jeez this is sad how the hell did I end up here? Man having to actually read these out loud in my head made me feel bad for myself. If you notice not a lot of "couple orientated" films in the bunch. For some reason most of this stuff hasn't caught on with the ladies yet. Oh god I'm a sad little man.

Off to shower,

-Geoff

"Is it good juggling?"

Bunny rabbits Easter eggs and Underpants

Hi everyone,

I spent the first Easter since my daughter was born without her. However when I talked to my daughter on Easter she seemed fine, she even mentioned that she had eaten so much candy that she thought she might puke. I spent the day at family functions, I ate so much that at one point I had to take a seat to let the pain dissipate. I ate two pieces of cake a slice of pie and three of my mom's lemon bars (my favorite dessert on earth) that's a whole year of carbs to some.

I did four shows over the weekend at the Underpants downtown. I mc'd for Kermit Holliday, Meghan Hounshell, and Cathy Sorbo. The shows went really well, I thought Cathy was wonderful. I have seen her three times before but this was a set I hadn't seen her do and I thought she was really funny. I did only five minutes a show because of a double booking which meant two features. That was fine, I did all new material which all seemed to work pretty well so that is cool hard to tell anything in a five minute set but still cool. Each of the late show crowds was full of the funniest crowd members ever. They said truly the most ridiculous shit I've heard from a crowd. One couple raised their hands on every joke to let the comedian know that they "got the joke" apparently. It was overall a very good time had by all. I have been having a lot of fun doing comedy lately which gives me hope.

I got booked for a show in Pullman next weekend where I'm doing 45 I need to work on my set somewhere in the meantime. Do ten minute chunks until I leave for east of the mountains. I'm worried but I'm sure not as worried as Tony who has to do an hour and a half. I am recording this show for posterity it's going to be fun(ny).

-Geoff

"Is it good juggling?"

something different

I decided to do something a little different this fine morning and by fine I mean I feel like shit but the rest of the world seems happy.

I thought I would do some film reviews, I think I'm perfect for reviewing things. I don't like that many films so I'm like perfect for it.

The film I would like to review today is "Day of the Dead" the third in the George Romero film series. I am for those who don't know a HUGE zombie movie fan. If it's got the undead I'm there.

Day of the Dead for those who aren't familiar to the series is the third in the George Romero zombie trilogy that began with "Night of the living dead" followed by "Dawn of the dead" and lastly "Day of the Dead". The jist of the story is that the world is overrun by zombies a group of scientists and military (very 70's military by the way apparently in the 70's you could have long hair in the army) are hold up in a military base try to figure a way to control or kill the zombies. Ok I think before I continue I should mention that this movie had the budget of you typical public access show. I think that's important to mention because I kept thinking how much better it would have been had they had a budget at all instead of having to blow the whole budget on the helicopter rental. They could have used a budget to get actors cause the acting ain't that great but it's a goddamned zombie movie so who cares. I don't personally watch zombie movies for the acting I watch it for the disgusting undead to walk the earth in all their glory and to eat people and stuff. So the story goes like this the head scientist is working on a way to "domesticate" the zombies for lack of a better word. In the most interesting plot point of this movie he has a zombie that he has trained but the problem is that he has to give him "treats" which happens to be men in the army base. Everything goes to hell at the base and the zombies get in and mayhem insues. Ok here is the good, the special effects in terms of makeup and guts and stuff like that is just awesome. Except for some of the zombies who are blue obviously caked in makeup. The gore in this is freaking awesome. Several guys get torn in half and it just rules. My favorite scene being when this zombie is laying on an autopsy table in the mad scientists laboratory and breaks one of his restraints and turns towards the camera all is guts slide out of rib cage onto the floor. It's just freakin awesome.

The bad this movie is low budget poorly acted written etc. The fact is though that it's still pretty goddamned good and if you like seeing people get torn in half...which I do, then its worth sitting through EVERYTHING else. The main reason I watched this is first my zombie fetish and second the fact that "Land of the Dead" the fourth in the series is coming out next halloween. Oh my god I can't wait, I might dress like a zombie that's how big a fan I am. I also wanted to watch Dawn of the Dead and Day of the dead in order just to get my bearings after watching the new "Dawn of the Dead" that came out last year. Which was my favorite movie of last year. Oh my god I loved the new Dawn of the Dead.

give me a z give me a o.....

-Geoff

"Is it good juggling?"

Upcoming shows, my teeth hurt...damned cocaine

Wanted to let the Interweb know that I have an upcoming show for those interested in coming its at the Mars Bar/Venus cafe by REI on Eastlake. I hope you can all be there it will feature Andy Peters (very funny), Eric Hurst (very funny), Owen Straw (very funny ...notice a trend), and Me (can't be objective on this...not funny).
The show will end with another comics punk band playing. I believe his name is CK Zero. Who is the punk Mitch Hedburg, I knew Hedburgs diction was addictive and I was right it's sweeping the land. CK has some good jokes. Good newcomer.

Ok what else oh I met Kermit Apio recently what an amazingly great guy. Everyone has told me how great he is and how funny he is. I finally saw for myself. As nice a guy as I've ever met in comedy. Also extremely funny. Really a pleasure to be around, feel fortunate to have met him. If any of you have a chance to see him run don't walk.

What else, oh Hax lives again. We have written several sketches and a show at the rendevous is in the very near future. I am very very optimistic about it the sketches we have come up with are really f-in funny.

Later,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

Git R Done

God bless him this is frickin amazing

Picture one.



Picture two.



and the coup de grace the ultimate...oh holy shit my god I can't fucking a believe it



ok this whole thing is my new obsession.

Larry rules!

The Enforcer says "GIT R DUMB"

"Is it good juggling?"

Metal

There is what I would call an amazing show coming up with Zeke, Motorhead, and corrosion of conformity coming soon.

This made me think about what would be my favorite metal band. You could argue that none of the three bands are actually metal. I would agree with you, I have always thought of those bands as straight rock even punk. With the exception of C.O.C which used to be a hardcore band and now is southern rock ala Lynnrd Skynnrd.

Ok here is the list of my favorite five metal bands of all time. These are in no particular order, I don't like lists.

1. At the Gates - Fucking kick ass evil metal, I want to worship satan when I listen to it.
2. Judas Priest - Come on they invented this shit. And the answer to the eternal question is KK Downing.
3. Slayer - No list is complete without these guys worst fucking solos ever but it just makes sense when it's coming from Slayer.
4. Sepultura - Still maybe my favorite metal band of all time. The new singer sucks ass. I am referring to the original lineup ending with the Roots album. These guys are so fucking good it's scary.
5. Metallica - I didn't want to include these guys cause they haven't made a passable album since 1988 they have put out far mor shitty albums then good ones. I just can't imagine including a list without a band that put out Ride the Lightening and Kill em all arguably the two greatest metal albums ever.

There are ton of bands that should be on here. Especially if you think of Black Sabbath as metal which would put them at the top of the list but I don't so there you go.

No one cares about this and Blaine knows far more about Metal then I do but I listened to punk in high school and fucking hated metal so my knowledge is limited.

-The Enforcer says "Your God is weak"

"Foxworthy's example of why women are smarter then men was hysterical"

Not depressing

Ok a couple of things happened on the way to Spokane this weekend one almost made me homicidal I was driving in traffic across the pass looked over and saw a truck the personalized license plate "gittrdn". Oh and check this out link.

Ok now none of this really bothers me it just reminds me that I live in a society full of people not like me.

Thats ok not everyone can be interesting.

Oh and read the reviews for this

if you don't want to read the reviews for the Blue collar comedy tour here are some that I have chosen:

"The best part about this comedy is that it is not repulsive and does not degrade any ones race or religion. To me, that is a sign of a true comic genius. All four artists in this performance are hysterical by themselves and when you set them up together for the finale...YOU WILL DIE LAUGHING!!!"

"Foxworthy's example of why women are smarter then men was hysterical"

"These guys are possibly the funniest stand-ups ever. How refreshing not to hear virtually ANY swear words, yet laugh so very hard. I don't want to give specific examples because I wouldn't want to ruin for anyone. I would most definitely let my children watch this and look forward to watching many times in the future. "

"This was an awesome, rib tickling, family safe movie. There was something for everyone. This was the hardest we laughed in months. Safe for children with "No Profanity". Clean safe and fun. Better than any comedy movie we have ever rented. Would love to own this one."

"The white kings of comedy! I have to say I didn't think this would be anywhere near as funny as the kings or queens of comedy, but I was wrong! They were hilarious!!!"

"If you're in the mood to laugh out loud and are looking for profanity-free entertainment (but you're not a prude), this is the movie for you! With 4 different comics, you're bound to find something to tickle your funny bone. You can safely watch it with the kids!"

"Blue Collar Comedy Tour is a refreshingly funny collection of lines and stories determined to make you bust a gut from laughing. No angry-man sour egos, no profanities, just good ol' boys having some fun that can be enjoyed by most of the family. For a great change of pace, slide this one into your DVD player."

"GREAT "movie" if all you want to do is laugh. I am from the South (Tennessee) and could relate to just about everything. Boy, we are rednecks!! Loved the segments in between each comedy act. Ending was the best."

"his was the funniest stand up I've seen since Spike Lee's Original Kings of Comedy in 2000"

" I had tears from my eyes from laughing so much. This is real comedians taking life as it is."

"I have to say that this was one of the two funniest stand up shows I have seen in recent memory, the other being Robin Williams."

"These four comedians are able to make you laugh just as much and as hard as Dennis Miller, George Carlin and Robin Williams but without the vulgarity."



Does anyone else see a trend, I think comics could learn a lot about listening to these reviews. One people like it clean and non threatening. Two, people are hopelessly stupid. Three, as long as you know two you will be ok. I love the fact that these guys are reminding people that there is still stand up comedy and people are loving it, the only problem is that people now want to see blue collar comedy wherever they go. I still think it has it's benefits, as long as I don't have to see fucking "gitterdn" license plates.

"Is it good juggling?"

Hi my name is unstable, will you hold my knife?

Ok another blow up at the world..a world that is getting sick of this shit. I freaked out again and got into a "I just wrote my last will and testament" bottom.

Over the weekend I spent an amazing 24 hours with my beautiful daughter who allowed me to remember that there are things to live for. I think I have figured out why I freak out so hard and want to be dead.

Problems:

A. I have been freakishly depressed for my entire life and this is no different. I am the poster bitch for depression.
B. I start getting my head on all the problems in my life and I can't see a way out. I always get the most depressed when it seems like I don't have any choices.
C. I have become extremely ego driven, I have started to feel somehow entitled to things I am not. Whenever I start thinking I'm "all that and a bag of chips" (thank you 1992) I get depressed. Ego is just not me and it makes me sad when I start feeling ego driven and needy.
D. Comedy is something that I love but I'm burned out on going to the clubs.

Solutions:
A. I am going to go to a therapist and start talking to someone, because otherwise I'm not going to make it to 40. This is probably all I need in addition to anti depressants to at least level off. I don't like being in my own mind so I can't imagine what people around me must feel.
B. Start dwelling on solutions, I feel instantly better as soon as I realize that I have choices. I don't have to work, I don't have to do anything. Things will work out one way or another. If I don't want to work for the rest of my life, how do I make that happen. Voila I feel better...for a little while...then repeat. I just have to remember to stay in a solutional way of thinking always.
C. I have found myself applying myself to some comedy hiarchy of late, which just doesn't work for me. Feeling like I'm entitled to time or that I should be working or that these other comics shouldn't be getting breaks before I do, is just silly. This is most of all just not me. Throughout my life I have been extremely confident in myself, but as soon as I think that I'm better then I really am I become needy and depressed. Things just don't seem to work out for me when i feel that way, even though things are working out just the way they are supposed to. I just feel like they aren't working out for me. I will never allow myself (or I will at least try) to feel envious or feel cheated by my friends success at any level. I can only control myself and I want others to succeed. I don't know when I started feeling so great about myself but it always leads me to thoughts of suicide (which is odd).
D. The only time I ever do well at comedy is when i go back to just trying to enjoy myself and get better. When I expect something or dwell on others I get frustrated. Everything good that has ever happened in comedy to me was when I let them, and didn't expect them. I will never quit comedy as much as it bothers me and makes me miserable, it's not comedy's fault it's my approach to what I'm doing that makes it so.

Ok .... off my chest. I need to get one more thing off my chest, I can't go to where I was last weekend again. I am going to try my damndest to avoid that for the rest of my life. I was as close to offing myself as I've ever been. I couldn't get out of a hateful cycle in my head. I for the first time just started planning on how to kill myself without everyone hating me (making funeral arrangements for instance so no one was stuck with the bill). I started planning the legal end of my death so no one would get screwed over. I imagine that I would be hated on some level for killing myself but I don't want to hand people a bill as well.

I feel 180 degrees different today. I feel like my future is what I make it. I understand that life isn't going to work out the way I want but that's ok. If I get funny that's good. If I don't thats ok too. I just want to keep doing comedy in my free time get as good as I can be and be a good dad. That's not too hard.

I have this fascination with strippers as of late. I just wonder what it would be like to date one. I think it would be fun in a constant drama kind of way. I think that would be the thing to do if you had money just to entertain yourself. Surround yourself with uninhibited not very bright people with a myriad of problems. That makes for some goddamned entertaining days and nights. And STD's.

-The Enforcer reminds you to "look for the eye of the tiger" when shopping for eggs.

"Is it good juggling?"

Some things still make me happy

"Is it good juggling?"

the state of ho humedy

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a depressed person who posts depressed blogs all the time. This one is no different. I did realize something last night that made me re-think every thing.

I was speaking with a comedian and I realized that there is no point to what I'm doing. I am stuck, I can't quit my job and do comedy I have too many responsibilities.

I have gone as far as I'm going to go in comedy.

There is no where to go from here. I can't work doing it and at this point what is the point? Becoming a better comic? Who gives a shit it isn't going to lead anywhere. I can't believe that I somehow talked myself into working so hard on this for 2 years when there is no fucking point to it at all. It is just mental masturbation. I will be a hobbyist until the day I die doing comedy. My opportunity to become something in comedy is gone, my opportunities were before I became a dad, before I was in my 30's.

My opportunity came and went and I didn't even realize it, instead I fucking did nothing with my life. I drank myself into an oblivion stayed in a fucking loveless relationship, my life has no meaning. My daughter is the only thing that I have created of any worth in my stinking good for nothing 34 years. I am a pathetic piece of shit.

I realized that I just don't enjoy going and doing comedy enough anymore to make it worth it to go and hang out and talk to fucking drunk people that could care less if I had a heart attack and died on stage. I hate the crowd and that is bad thing as a comic in fact it's a career (as pathetic as my "career" is) killer. I have nothing but contempt for the people that I'm supposed to entertain. I stopped doing comedy a month and a half ago when I found myself three shows in a row telling the crowd how much I hated them. How I hated how I got judged by people that I had no respect for. I had to take a step back and realize that it wasn't healthy for me to feel this way.

Last night however was the first time that I realized that my dreams have no merit. My dreams don't mean anything and are never going to come true. I don't see how I can continue, I can't just keep going to local clubs forever. That would eventually just destroy me as a person. There is just no point in it. I don't want to be a hobbyist, but it's all I ever will be. What am I going to do move to L.A. and abandon my daughter? I love the people that run the clubs around here and the people that do comedy in this town. I will always enjoy spending time with these people because they're my friends. I just don't see the point of working really hard at something that isn't going to lead anywhere. I couldn't do something if it were handed to me, I have painted my life into a corner and I have no way out.

I don't see the point of living if one doesn't have dreams. The only thing I have to look forward is to working for the rest of my life? I can't even imagine that. For most people having a daughter and raising her would be enough or getting married or whatever. It's not enough for me. I can't live happily if I don't have something bigger then my current life to look forward to. This is one of the most depressing days of my life. Not because I'm depressed just because I realized my life has no meaning. Maybe no ones life has real meaning, I don't know I just hoped that mine did. I can't believe that I have fucked this short time on earth up this much. I am an emotionally shut off person unable to love anyone unable to be a real friend to anyone self centered self obsessed piece of shit. And what I have gotten from this is squat. I will never be professional comic I will go to fucking shitty jobs and work my forty hours so that I can enjoy two days a week. What a fucking miserable existence. The first 34 years have sucked and now as I get older they will continue to suck but I have bad health to look forward to. What is the point of remaining sober giving a shit about anything. This time on earth for 99% of the fucking world is miserable. Yet D.L. FUCKING HUGHELY has a goddamned HBO special...HBO! My dream of all dreams and that fucking horrible shitty goddamned son of a fucking bitch has an hour long special. Yeah black people and white people are different D.L. and oh if I ever see you I will shoot you in your fucking face. See D.L. i have nothing to live for and you get to sleep peacefully at night because somehow your amazing lack on intellect and talent has landed you in the place I have dreamed of being at my whole life.

There is no point in carrying on, I will still come down to the comedy clubs and say hi from time to time but I want to get on with getting old having bad health paying taxes and then eventually dying.

I'm done. I wish things were different but they ain't so there you go.

Later. I'm not sure I want to blog anymore, but if I can think of an interesting thing which is doubtful I will blog it.

This is not a suicide note or anything :-)

I'm just dealing with some stuff I will unhappily continue on with my pathetic existence until cancer or something else takes me in my 40's.

-Geoff Brousseau
"Goodnight and thank you for listening"

"Is it good juggling?"

Killorn O'Neill is old

Killorn's b-day hoop-d-doo is tonight. I have invited a shitload of people. I'm expecting a lot of people which means I won't do well. I just hope the show goes well and I expect it to the show is loaded with funny people.

Drew Barth -I'd link to his blog but you all know where it is. Just started a blog which is nice. He made mention of being put down for doing comedy once a year. Ok so he doesn't do it very often but he's a good comic. He makes me mad because of that. See I try and I suck and bam hey I just showed up and kicked your ass, and I'm a nice guy...hahha in your face Brousseau. That's what I think he thinks anyway.

Oh well welcome to the fold, I hope to hear lots of stuff about your life.

I'm a little frustrated Killorn referred to me as obsessive and I have been thinking a lot about this and washing my hands compulsively and I just don't know where this shit comes from.

Curb your enthusiasm is funny.

I like the show Deadwood a lot.

and uh I have written out my set list for tonight and over half of it is new which means I could be in for a blood bath.

Wish me luck, or die by the sword.

The Enforcer says "Happy Birthday"

"Is it good juggling?"

You got your wish Sinead

If I had to make a guess I think the Pope will die in the next 24 hours.

Proving that he's not a vampire. This still leaves the Dick Clark thing up in the air (Lestat).

-The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

Happy Valentines Day!

This is a Valentine given to my daughter yesterday:

Touch my cock....it's Valentines day!

That title has nothing to do with anything, it's just evocative.

I had a shitty weekend well a shitty beginning to my weekend. I was having a problem starting my car and I thought there was something wrong with the battery. I go to take off for Spokane thinking I will just go out on Saturday and get a new battery. I get cut off in bumper to bumper traffic on the on-ramp of I90. I kill the car and can't restart it. I am now stuck in the far left lane of I90 with a car that won't start. I get out and start trying to push it, uphill. People pull over thank god and help me out I pushed the damn thing like 3 blocks. I finally get enough speed to compression start the car and immediately pull off the freeway to go and get a new battery. 2 hours later I replace the battery and the car still won't start. I still think it's the battery cables, but I'm 100 bucks down to find that out. I compression start it and drive to Spokane. It turns out it was the starter so I have another bunch of money to shell out for that. Suffice it to say I ain't driving anywhere anytime soon.

Today is Valentines day and I am without a doubt the least romantic person on the planet. I am looking to buy something for my lady friend and I can't think of a thing to get. I don't want to get the ordinary, but I don't know her well enough to know what thing she would really like to have.

In other news my daughter took care of my sick ass this weekend. She got me a bell for me to ring anytime I needed something. So I would ring it and interfere with her playing with her playskool stuff cause I needed soda or something. It was pretty awesome.

Life rules for the most part, I got my tax return so I can finally pay back all the people I owe money to and they are significant. The weight of the world will finally be coming off my shoulders. Thank god. I am so thankful they could loan me the money and even more happy that I can finally pay them back.

Rock on,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

This makes me laugh more then it should

Link

It's the juxtoposition of my picture and the content. Also apparently I am the only one on blogger admitting for a love of the "plumper" movies on my blog. What a bunch of liars, isn't your profile the place to admit what you REALLY like. Oh yeah bloggers I'm the ONLY one who likes hugely obese women screwing very very skinny men. Oh yeah call ME the pervert. Well good day to you liar liar pants on fire.

What are you going to tell me that I'm the only one on Blogger who likes watching people drink pee now? And don't get me started on Beastiality and scat(I was WAY into these before they got so popular). Oh I'M THE WEIRD ONE. I get it you liars. Next you will tell me you don't own one "lactating pregnant crack head" video. God I'm the ONLY honest man left. It's ok you can come over and watch these perfectly normal videos at my house when you come out of your denial.

I love fat chicks,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

News

Well what's going on mmm.....

I am leaving to visit my daughter this weekend. I am looking forward to seeing her but not driving to Spokane.

I have a girlfriend. As much as I have fought it, she has officially broken through to my black soul. I'm sure I will do something to screw it up soon. However regailing her with my stories of going to jail shitting my bed last month and all the baggage I carry into a relationship haven't done it so far. Here is a touch of my baggage (no pun intended) I have a child, an ex who is still alive, a probation officer, a child who is also out of wedlock, a drinking problem, a domestic violence arrest, depression, an ex with a probation officer. I could go on.

I was thinking the other day, I went through some things going on in my life. I realized that I am complete white trash(see above). When you and yo' babies muva both have a P.O. that is WT with a capital F.

Well back to my original point if my GF can handle all of my foibles then I am sure she is ok. Or at worst as messed up as me.

Later Ally Gator,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

The triumphant return of one of the greatest minds of this generation

Hi I'm back bitches.

I haven't written for awhile. I have taken a break from all this to try and do the best job I can at work. I have started to like my job, thank you prozac.

I have also taken a hiatus from comedy that could be permanent, but I doubt it. I just don't have the desire to be on stage anymore. I have done nothing but the Giggles contest as of late. That was the last straw I just didn't want to be on the stage during the contest. Not because I hated the contest just because I don't enjoy my time on stage anymore. I think it could be the 350 times I've been on stage in the last year. I am burned out. I wrote some new stuff but that just isn't enough to propel myself back to the stage.

Ok different subject.

Some highlights of 2004.

1. Seattle Intl. Comedy comp. which was the most fun I've ever had doing comedy.
2. The Blog wars, truly I believe several times the most ridiculous thing happening on the Internet in a given day.
3. The amazing friends I have met.
   
4. Trip to Mexico.
5. Watching some amazing local talent grow and become real honest to goodness comics.
6. Watching some really amazingly bad local comics quit.
7. Getting a DUI which forced me to make some changes in my life. And as you all know I have to start making those changes. At least it forced me to evaluate myself honestly for once. Heres to throwing flares and not ever doing that again.
8. to any women out there who touched my cock in 2004 ....thank you very very much.
9. The morning I woke up by shitting the bed. This helped me to remember I'm not young anymore and apparently incontinent as well.

I had a great year. I hope this year is as good (I know it's february but I haven't blogged in awhile). I hope to someday get my drive to be on stage back, if not then I will quit my short lived comedy career. I have a feeling though that even if I wanted to I just don't think I could, but maybe I'll quit the "I'm going to do this professionally" as a dream. Who knows. It's good to be back.

hugs and kisses bitches,

The MOTHERFUCKING Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

I'm sorry

I was a complete jack ass last night. I did the one thing I think I hate more then any other. I ate stage time away from other comics. To add to that I fucking wanked on stage. I brought nothing and took away from other comics to boot. I swear on all that is holy I will try to never do that again. I got Meghan bumped (I didn't realize she was there) and took away from everyone elses minutes. I just sat on the stage mentally masturbating. I am really fucking pissed at myself.

The Enforcer says "I'm sorry"

"Is it good juggling?"

2005!

Happy new year every one. I hope all is well and I hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas and the New Year.

I am very thankful right now. I am amazed that people put up with me for another year. I had a great time with my daughter. She didn't want to go home so I think she had fun too. She made such a fuss that her mom has promised to make more time for me in her schedule. Pretty kick ass.

I have made several resolutions that I hope I can fulfill. They basically all involve me being better to people. I need to be more tolerant and patient with people around me. I need to be a better friend to those close to me. The rest involves me paying off my debt and jacking off less.

Speaking of jacking off, after my daughter left yesterday I was playing with myself like my cock was a new toy. I haven't jacked off that much since high school. I feel a little ashamed but mostly I feel tired.Screaming "whore" while you ejaculate in front of a computer monitor will take it out of you.

Here are the highlights of my week.

I picked my daughter up at 10 on Christmas eve. We woke up and opened gifts after which she kept asking me if we should put some cookies out for Santa again. I assured her that he had already come and wasn't coming back. She says "but I didn't get everything I asked him for, maybe he missed some stuff and he's coming back with the rest". Suffice it to say my daughter is a little spoiled. She was a great girl though and became very appreciative of the stuff she received especially this game I bought her. We must have played it 20 times while she was here.

I got a call on the 1st and went down and did two shows and went home which was the only comedy I did during the break. I really enjoyed not doing comedy I think I will continue with doing comedy less and writing more. The tour I was supposed to go on doesn't look like it's going to happen. I haven't received any dates yet for a series of shows that are supposed to happen this month. I hope it goes off as planned but I doubt it's happening, maybe next month.

To any of the many people in my life I wanted to say thank you for being incredible friends. I can honestly say that the group of people in my life right now are the best group of people I've ever been around. I love each and everyone of you and I have so much to be thankful for this year. I have truly surrounded myself with just amazing talented funny great people. I had a trip to Mexico which is something I never thought I would do which was amazing. I spent an amazing time in an amazing place with amazing people. The times I have spent with everyone at the comedy clubs have been freakin great. I don't want to seem so "happy shiny people" right now but when I think about how lucky I am to have the kind of friends that I have I almost feel weepy.

By the way Blaine bought me an incredible book called "American Hardcore" about the hardcore scene of the early 80's that we both grew up on. What a great gift from a great person. Thank you.

I just wanted to say thank you to my friends for giving me one of the best years of my life. I know it's hard to believe that I would say that after all the allusions to killing myself this year but it's true. I am a fucking lucky dude.

All this and a huge cock, man I feel like that dude at the end of "It's a wonderful life" except that I'm not doing anything important for people and I don't deserve anything I receive. Later.

The Enforcer reminds you to "Floss motherfucker"

"Is it good juggling?"

Now I'm moving on.

I have thought about actually sitting down and writing a blog out so that it is a little clearer a little more well written. What that means is that I haven't posted anything in two weeks. So screw it here is another in a long line of poorly written bad grammar havin blogs that I spew from time to time.

I am at a bit of downward spiral comedically right now. Which is great because I'm going on Tour for a month coming up soon. I don't know what I'm doing on stage right now. Writing has always come pretty easy so I have become lazy(I was always lazy but I could write stuff if I had to). Now for the first time I just can't seem to write a joke worth a shit. The new stuff I have written sucks ass. I knew it wasn't any good I just hadn't written anything else. I am racking my brain right now trying to come up with something........anything.

Last night I went to CU then on to pegasus which can be a back breaker for me. I have had two day hangovers from eating shit at Pegasus. You know after going there I was thinking how amazing the scene here is to learn comedy. You can go to club open mic then go out to pegasus and work in front of a hostile bar crowd. Go to Laughs and work in front of people who are tight and hard to make laugh. You really get experience in all types and this is just in one week. After these you can work the clubs on the weekend in front of large good crowds. Pretty amazing when you think about it.

Here are two jokes that I did last night that I came up with a long time ago that have never worked I thought they were funny but they aren't. I don't know why I brought them back. I said this one because I got mad at the CU crowd last night

"So I was recently fucking a dog, the dog looked back at me and started barking. I said what is that boy? Timmy's trapped in a well?"

That joke is so unfunny but it tickles me for some reason, plus it's offensive which is really fun to do sometimes.

The other one I did was my spanking a 9 year old boy joke you can imagine how that one goes. That one actually gets laughs from time to time but mostly groans.

I used to open with that which is amazing to me now. I just say it now whenever I want to make the crowd hate me.

last night at pegasus was pretty amazing really, everyone was very funny. The crowd was really responsive I enjoyed myself. Pegasus can be a good and when it's good it's a blast.

Duane Goad was fucking brilliant last night at pegs he was the tightest I have seen him maybe ever. Doing all kinds of new stuff, pretty damned impressive.

Andy told me about this last night. I forgot this was up. Pretty nice of Theresa I am going on the tour through laff club so hence my comedian of the month. Thank you Laff club very nice of you.

-The Enforcer says "do jumping jacks not drugs"

"Is it good juggling?"

Someone doesn't like me

However, I may want to caution you that I intend to file court papers on anyone slandering me on the internet with my first and last name etc. That is not good for my business.

I am seeking counsel on Friday to research the matter further. I did already speak with my own personal attorney already! I can afford an attorney and it will be worth it just to make this backstabbing garbage end!

So I hope you all enjoyed it.

You will now have reasons to pee when I enter the room.

You are being unprofessional and mean. You are being cruel which by the way has nothing to do with comedy. It will come back to you!

It is amazing that I have so been able to get under your skin. You know what they say about the actors you hate in a movie. They did a good job acting. You as a comic should know that.

Who made you God to Judge then publicly insult people behind their back? Where I come from that is a Coward. You had a beef with me it is too bad you could not have communicated.

I have good contacts and know more people than you probably realize. I was born and raised here and I travel a great deal.

I will not be quiet about this at all!

It is too bad that you are in comedy. Obviously you will be mean to people you do not know. That attitude will not help you in the long run in this business getting gigs. Too bad you refuse to treat people like humans with a simple hello.

Sincerely,

Name withheld

Dear Name withheld,

I wasn't sure what this was all about because I don't tend to name anyone in my blogs or talk about too many people in general. My blogs tend to be pretty benign and poorly written but not normally offensive. I looked through and anything I could find that referenced you I removed. I am not particularily concerned about legal counsel but I wanted to remove your name anyway. I am not sure anyone reads these blogs but I will do that for you.

I will however retain the right to talk about anyone anytime on my blog if anyone has a problem with that send me an email if I offended you and let me know. I'm not sure fantasy legal counsel is needed. I am not sure winning a lousy vinyl collection in court is really worth it anyway.

You wonder why I didn't just say hello or get to know you. I remember the first day we met oh yes it was lovely I was standing at the top of the stairs at the underpants going over my set in my head. When you walked up and said "who the fuck do you think you are." "Fuck you you think your better then me?" "you ain't shit" "fucking this fucking that rat a tat something something". I still for the life of me don't know why you were angry at me, but that cemented you as a world class cunt in my mind. If this was "acting" then I apologize you should have let me in on the secret. I thought I was going to get into a fight on the stairs with a woman for reason that only you knew. I left thinking "I don't think I like her". Maybe you are a nice person if that's the case then I must have misread that situation. Let me clue you in on something I am a nice guy, but I won't put up with shit like that. I keep to myself at comedy clubs because I am trying to concentrate on what I'm doing not because I find myself superior to anyone. I also am an introvert and don't open up to people I don't know. If you can't take that then my opinion of "I don't care" still stands.

Hey I don't care what happened a year or two years ago if you are a nice person and I misread the situation then I'm sorry. That is a long time ago, so long ago that I forgot it happened. If there is anything referencing you then let me know and I will remove it.

Yours in Christ,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

Last night

Thankfully I decided not to do any comedy last night. I stayed home and got some rest. I saw the greatest reality show idea ever last night. I was actually entertained by the show, in fact I laughed pretty hard. The name of the show is Scare Tactics and it is the greatest reality show ever. Which is not that hard but you get the idea. The idea of the show is that they set one person and basically put them in horror film scenario or something like that and see how they react. Now it is important to know that they don't know there in a fake horror film. Watching someone freak out from vampires or Bigfoot is just hysterical. I saw my first show last night and a girl lost her mind being chased by vampire bikers. Goddammit that is good tv. They also had some poor son of a bitch who thought he was in mine field and standing on a mine. This shit is so mean but goddamn is it entertaining.

Also Stephen Baldwin is the host. You have to like that. What an amazing actor....well it's a good show anyway.

-The Enforcer says "Holy shit bigfoot is scary"

"Is it good juggling?"

Hey Frances stop fucking.

best headline of today.

I have had an amazing week, I am tired I am sick. The sonics are playing good basketball. I used to be a huge sonics fan, but I didn't even know the season started. Comedy has become my new sport and I'm getting beat down by it. I just got an email from Beka that said I was a jizzshot. That rules.

I am at work right this very second. That's right ladies I have a job. You getting hot yet huh? I fucking work I bring home the preverbial bacon bitches. Thus making me almost the ultimate man. So I know you all wanted to bone me before just cause I'm hunky now you can throw "bread winner" into the mix. Yep ladies better change your undies. Goddammit I'm fucking rad.

See after all the attention I've received I now have what some people would call an "ego" it is a new thing to me. I am trying it out. When you see me now, don't look me in the eyes. Mostly don't speak until spoken to. I will raise the dead and speak to animals cause I am all powerful. Don't command me to let loose the hounds of hell upon thee....what the fuck am I talking about. To make sure I am completely unable to grow and maintain an ego I went to an open mic last night. I was actually really pleased I improv'd most of it and it went really well considering. That said the crowd laughed at anything, so not exactly a barometer for success.

I "wrote" two new jokes last night on stage. Then improv'd a joke that degraded into some rape thing. I don't know what that was all about. I actually think I'll use a couple of the things I used on stage last night in my act. If you can call my shitty material an "act".

Oh shit I need sleep.

-The Enforcer reminds the kids to "eat your wheaties"

"Is it good juggling?"

and now I'm depressed

I have probably had more fun doing this contest then I have had in comedy so far. I have met some amazing people that I love to death. Jen Kober is still in first I thought people were going to disembowell themselves after her Witney song in Bellingham. I'm sure that means another 1st place. She is a very sweet girl, and I wish her all the luck in the world. I have felt pretty proud of myself up until last night. I had an awful set in Moses Lake but I didn't feel that bad about it. I was very much in contention until last night, where I just sucked the pipe. Everything was off my timing my delivery my energy. I was truthfully embarassed.

That doesn't change the great times I've spent with Gabriel (who is just kicking ass Gabe is a fucking great comic), Beka, Peter, Tony B, Tony D, and the rest of the amazing people I have met or spent time with. I feel privileged to be doing comedy with them.

Oh fuck I bombed last night. I deserved last place I don't know what I got, because I left like a little baby. I was so depressed and pissed at myself after the show that I wasn't a whole lot of fun to be around. Beka had to talk me down and offer me a blow job to get me to even smile. I spoke of killing myself quite a bit. I decided instead to go home curl up in bed and watch the history channel and watch some Nazis get shot or something. Instead it was about Alexander the Great. I wasn't really into it so I fell asleep.

This contest has been such a great experience I just wish I could have done better last night so I wouldn't "what if" myself to death.

Dammit.

God I hope this makes me a better comic and doesn't break me of my will to live. Tonight I hope I can do well.

Rock on I guess.

"Is it good juggling?"

The bad news

I have been all hearts and hugs about this competition but I have to get this off my chest. There is a huge fucking hack in this competition. He killed last night, and it hurt my soul a little to see it. This guy is just a son of a bitch. I took a picture of him on stage last night, I hope I don't offend anyone by posting his picture but frankly ....fuck him

The Enforcer

Let the backstabbing begin

Well the first night of competition is in the bag. Everyone I met that is competing thus far is just freaking great. Super nice people.

That said I hope all of them die so I can win by forfeit. A win is a win.

My set went pretty well. Tonights show is in Kent at the Moonraker where I've heard it is a great room.

Kick ass. The results of last night will be posted at the comedy underground website so there is no need for me to post them.

The Enforcer reminds you all to "Keep keepin on"

"Is it good juggling?"

fuck you america

By the way THIS shit is why I listen to punk rock.

"Is it good juggling?"

Four weddings and a funeral minus four weddings

I went to my Uncle's funeral this weekend. I did the eulogy and I think it went well. Well shit all modesty the thing went really well, if the out pouring of emotion I received after it was any indication. I was very worried about it, I mean how do you summarize a man you loved in 6 minutes. How do you honor someone who has done so much for you. I was very proud of myself, I rose to the challenge and I think my uncle would be very proud of me.

I spent time with my uncles kids whom I haven't seen in 20 years and we just fell in love all over again. In the words of my younger cousing Stacey "How do you love someone so much who you haven't seen in 20 years". I don't know but it is genetic because I think I found a couple of girls that will be like my younger sisters much like the fact that their dad was my big brother. I am so proud of what beautiful smart funny young women they turned out to be. From death came this so thank you again Terry.

A couple of funny things I found out about my uncles death (if you have a dark sense of humor). My uncle who found my uncle told me he was pretty creeped out so he used a rake to poke him to see if he was dead. Also I found out what my uncles did first was go in and take every evidence of porn from him room and harddrive. This is an agreement between myself and all my uncles. It was nice to hear that they lived up to their end of the bargain.

I start the competition this week, I haven't had one opportunity to do my act as it sits right now. I am going to just wing it. Oh well. It's just a fucking competition. I will have to be a little loose the first two nights.

-The Enforcer reminds you to "Trick or Treat and smell my damned feet"

"Is it good juggling?"

technology

This news story points out what we all knew. Modern medicine is behind the movie "Face-Off". God I wish they would just take a cue from the movies and learn how to do these things.

Here is the sad truth

The Enforcer reminds you to "D.A.R.E to stay off drugs"

"Is it good juggling?"

Dammit

I have no shot I'm going against Jack Nicholson in the competition.

"Is it good juggling?"

Setting the record straight

Regarding "Halloween Grinches," (editorial, Oct. 23), I am Wiccan, I have family members who are Wiccan and Druidic. Not one of us finds the witch-ly stereotype offensive, nor any Halloween association offensive. And being Wiccan, we just don't get how another person calling themselves Wiccan would think or look for a reason to be offended.

Halloween/Samhain is a lovely holiday for everyone to enjoy and a true Wiccan would never have protested to the Puyallup School District over such a non-issue.
— Pamela Buxton, SeaTac

Well said weirdo.

"Is it good juggling?"

Terry I miss you.

My uncle whom I love dearly and have remained close to my entire life finally lost his battle with Cocaine. He was found dead in his room at 6:30 last night.

I have struggled to find ways of honoring him. He was really an incredible guy. He was the member of my family that I always looked up to.

I owe him so much. He is the reason that I was able to go to school, which he supported me through. He has always been there for me, and more accurately was there always.

Cocaine took his life and it took his dignity, but it never took his spirit. He was quite simply the sweetest man I ever knew. He made everyone around him feel special. I believe that truly is the greatest gift someone can have. Making people feel special by your mere presence is an amazing thing. Recently my daughter, Terry and I were sitting around talking and cracking jokes and I realized how much my daughter was loving it. Which reminded me of how much I enjoyed sitting around and talking to Terry and my uncles when I was younger (and older for that matter). I would just sit there and think how special my family was that we could sit around and just talk and it was the most fun thing in the world. I'm sorry my daughter isn't going to be able to experience that again.

Here are a couple of stories that I think help to illustrate what an interesting dude my uncle was (seems strange to use past tense).

When he was in high school he took his older brothers birth certificate when was sixteen to the DMV and had them make him a license that said he was 21. So at 16 he could buy beer. Next he rented a place on weekends set up a bar, bought a whole bunch of beer and hard alcohol and hired the cheerleaders from Ferris H.S. in Spokane to serve as "cocktail waitresses". He charged 1 buck a beer and made a fortune. He also started nailing cocktail waitresses. His bar was the stuff of legend.

By the time he was 18 years old he was managing several restaurants in the Spokane area. By the time he was 19 years old he bought his first home. In his twenties he bought another home. At this point he managed several large restaurants and his partners bought him his own restaurant in downtown Spokane. I worked for my uncle from the time I was 13 until I was sixteen.

Cocaine took all these things away, but he still managed to lead his school's senate during the time he went to S.C.C. and last summer he graduated from Whitworth. He had been offered a pretty great job when I saw him last week. He has a full room of awards he received at each school that he attended for his leadership.

I told him everything that happened in my life just so I could hear how proud he was of me. I will forever be proud of him.

I will miss him.

-Geoff Brousseau

shots to the head

I was just over at Suicide Pie laughing out loud at her new blog post and I thought to myself it's time I got a new headshot up for people to see. I had this taken awhile ago let me know what you guys think:

"Is it good juggling?"

Who wants some

I am in the midst of quite a week. I went to a great party through my work actually one of the most fun parties I've ever been to. Also they gave me an Ipod which is now like the coolest thing I own. Second place is some old shoes a man with a hacking cough gave me.

I got an invite to the Seattle International Comedy competition which was pretty sweet. I wasn't planning on going this year so it was a nice surprise. I think the whole thing will be really fun. Then I was sitting there at my desk on Tuesday and I got an email from a girl I haven't seen in awhile telling me that she got a sexy cop outfit for Halloween and asked me if she should come over if I've been bad. "OFFICER DOWN! OFFICER DOWN!". I don't know whats going on but I like it, all the stars must be aligned.

Last night I got invited to another contest at Giggles. Apparently it is contest time of the year for me. I don't like contests but it's a chance to do time. That said I'm competing against Al Foxx who has brain damage. I think everyone knows you just can't beat brain damage. The guy with brain damage always wins except in a spelling bee. Especially in the first round, no ones going to vote for me over the dude who can't talk so well. Who wants to be the asshole voting against Al. I'm really just a prick for even competing against him.

So I imagine I'll be making different plans for tomorrows show.

Officer Down!

-The Enforcer says "Stay in school"

"Is it good juggling?"

I love the Interweb

Ok here is the background story for this video. An old school hardcore band (read knows how to fight most likely like to and are most likely Skins) called the North Side Kings drive six hours to do a show opening up for Danzig with a few other bands. Due to some mishaps the show goes late. Danzig refuses to change the time they play so two bands are bumped and told they can play after Danzig by Danzig's guys. After Danzig gets done they turn on the lights and just start cleaning up and everyone goes home. The guy confronts Danzig and says "what the fuck" is talking to him. Danzig tries to show off and pushes the guy in front of a whole bunch of Danzig fans. The LARGE dude from North Side Kings knocks him out. See Danzig went to a shoving match with a guy who doesn't shove. Lesson learned Danzig you stupid son of a bitch?

Watch the hilarity

I will be blogging today about what is going on in my life. Just not now I'm too busy enjoying the nonsense that is this very childish video.

The Enforcer says "Don't bring a large midget to a punching match"

"Is it good juggling?"

Dear Pork Hater

A few months back you anonymously took some shots at a beloved piece of meat. More importantly you took shots at a beloved animal that tastes good. I called you out, and you didn't have the guts to back off. I am tired of the snide remarks you have made and I will no longer put up with this. You have said that I won't confront you face to face. I'm tired of your shit. A lot of people have told me "Geoff don't attack him this way" "Geoff let it go" "Stay gold Pony Geoff" I says it's what I do. I'm dangerous. See Pork hater you call the pig I let the pig loose.

I am giving you two options

1> Apologize to pork and tell pork that you will never talk to pork that way again.
2> Never speak of pork again.

2007 is the year of the pig did you know that. Get your historical books and stuff cause the time of porkdom is upon us. Either wise up or be trampled beneath pig hooven feet.

Also no bullshit apology like "I'm sorry about stuff...pork" either you apologize properly or dont' waste our time.

For your sake I hope you "MAN" up and take care of this you fucking little pork hater.

Pork and brimstone to you my friend if you don't.

The Enforcer says "Get right with Pig or GET OUT"

"Is it good juggling?"

If you were curious

I think At the Drive In's "Relationship of Command" is probably the greatest rock album ever written.

There you have it.

The Enforcer says "Cedric is ok"

"Is it good juggling?"

Best Headline ever

This is the best goddamned headline I have read maybe ever

Goddammit, does anyone else find this funny? Is it just me? What's wrong with me?

The Enforcer says "Guns don't kill people lotteries do"

"Is it good juggling?"

if you were curious how much you can get for guns

Planning on selling guns?

Rocket propelled grenades -- $175 each

BKC medium machine gun -- $1,000

Sniper rifle -- $650

AK-47 rifle -- $150

RPK rifle -- $160

60 mm mortar -- $252

120 mm mortar -- $275

Hand grenades -- $5

-the Enforcer says "Mortars are too expensive"

"Is it good juggling?"

Hi thank you for the virus

I have been receiving emails with virus' in them from dumbshits thinking I will open them. Here is what is a little weird about them. They are all from "comedy" websites or fake talent agencies. It is like someone is targeting me in particular. Hey btw if you are trying to target me, you should know that I'm not "R3T4RD3D" and I don't open random shit in email.

oh the point in bringing this up is that the latest one makes me laugh, check out who this is from jokeguy@ sorry-ifuckedyourwife.com. Hmmmmm.....jokeguy that crazy goose what funny email did he send this time. I LOVE the site sorry-ifuckedyourwife.com btw great time at that one. I love the clothing patterns they have there, very helpful for someone like me just getting started in the "sewing" game.

Holy shit I'm rambling.

"Is it good juggling?"

I love this, dude I've thought of doing this

Not well thought out

"Is it good juggling?"

Goddammit what a great band

Slowly but surely becoming my favorite Seattle band ever these guys just kick arse.

I have so many stories from seeing these guys and hearing stories. What a great fucking Band click here to rock to the Fawking ZEKE! Or Click here and Rock some fucking more

The Enforcer says "Alcohol is good for you"

"Is it good juggling?"

Match.com

I signed up for Match.com about a year ago, I've never used the service but I get emails everyday from them. They send me my matches for the day, they give them percentages of compatibility. This morning the top match (97%) was cute so I check out her profile. She says in her "About my date" section that she is looking for a black man 5'11" or taller. I don't think that I'm a perfect match for her. I guess the 3% is the race.

Sometimes I get a kick out of doing help desk support for people. Most of the time it makes me wish that I had gone to school for something drastically different. Today I go down to help this lady who is pissed cause her computer laptop isn't booting. First off she acts as if I'm some extension of the computer and is mad at me somehow for it not working. The error says "please reset date/time" then it takes her to the CMOS to change the date and time. Instead of changing the date and time to the current one she calls me. She doesn't want to change the date and time she wants to know why it's doing this and to make it stop. I say because the date and time are wrong that isn't good enough. Why is the date and time wrong, listen lady I don't fucking know do you want me to "Mind meld" with the fucking thing. I set the date and time and it worked fine. Off I went, she was pissed that the machine had somehow wronged her. I left her to her pouting and came up and grabbed some coffee and wrote this. Fucking people, how bout learning how to fix your shit so I don't have to have this job. How bout that.

The Enforcer says "The Internet is Awesome"

"Is it good juggling?"

Great day for news

I dont' have a lot to say, I've just been to busy enjoying the news today.

Check this out

They say that they were going for reason of insanity, I'd say he made his point (scuse the pun).

Let's see what's happening in my life. I was diagnosed with Shingles this week, which is adult chicken pox. It is painful and has left me with a bad ear infection. The scary part is that if it goes unchecked or even if it gets checked it can cause permanent nerve damage. I dont' need that shit my body is already falling apart. I am pretty much in constant pain as it is. I went to the doctor and had them look at my hip, my foot, my face (chicken pox), and my enormouse cock. I had them check that out so I could use my "I know but fucking look at it". Oh just kidding.

Well I got a whole bunch of prescriptions and I scheduled a physical to get a full blood work up to make sure everything is working and I don't have AIDS or something worse. I feel really trashed overall. I was sitting there at home on Tuesday I got up my hip stopped working so I'm limping to the bathroom I have big sores on my face my foot hurt like hell from the infection on it, and I just felt fucking old and run down. It's like everything is just shutting down or something. Well the physical will hopefully check out ok, cause I sure as hell don't feel great. Well enough about that.

I did Comedy at Club Broadway in Everett. Lets just say it didn't go well. Here are the particulars 12 people in a room that could have fit 300 or more. The place had a balcony for christ sake. They had two shows because apparently they wanted to waste as much space as they could in their club. It was myself Matt Ralston and Joe Vespaziani. Joe is awesome he did the show without a microphone and did as well as you could expect in a situation like this. The crowd was there to see the cover band coming up afterwards did I mention that? Oh what a shitty shitty night that was. I actually had a really fun time talking to a crowd that could care less whether I was dead or not. I just sat up there and talked about stuff I wanted to talk about. I talked about how crime infested Everett is. I basically did my jokes and stared at what looked like a cafeteria. The situation was ludicrous to the point of being fun, at least for me. I am doing a show in Marysville tomorrow should be a good time nod nod wink wink.

I realized that is the second casino I've played in my life where it was just silent the whole time and indifference was the emotion. I realized how much better I handled it this time versus the first time when I failed miserably two months into my comedy career. I actually got laughs from the 12 in attendance this time and looked like I was trying even though I was mailing it in like a contest voucher. I am much better then I used to be, yea me.

The Enforcer reminds you to "recycle reuse"

"Is it good juggling?"

Mitch Explains

From Mitches mouth to my ears. Listen up Seattle! Finally the story comes out although I liked Bradley's better where Mitch didn't go up cause he was afraid that Bradley was going to go up first and do too well to follow him.

Mitch Explains

The Enforcer says "Drugs are bad"

"Is it good juggling?"

A message of hope

A message that I think we should all try to remember during this highly charged election year.
Click here

<>
From the mouth of babes.

"Is it good juggling?"

Blogging is blogriffic

This news story makes me laugh for so many reasons

Steven Holten, 40, once described by a police official as a "one-man Aryan Nation," faces arraignment Thursday on one count of transmitting a threat in interstate commerce.

> one man Aryan Nation even other Nazi's didn't want to hang out with this fuck

Holten says the nation opposes Jews, minorities, homosexuals, federal and local law enforcement officials, drug dealers, the media and anyone against white supremacy.

Holten, who has Nazi SS lightning bolts tattooed on his neck, was arrested after authorities intercepted the alleged threats by tracing an e-mail, according to Police Chief Jim Weston.

>Look at the stuff he opposes, I don't think he needs to put "and anyone against white supremecy" at the end.

> He has Nazi SS lightening bolts tattooed on his neck. That is a statement there, for some reason I doubt this guy gets laid much or works much. This guy gets my vote as stupidest fucking guy in the world for October 7 th, 2004.

The Enforcer says "Racism is bad"

"Is it good juggling?"

My personality test

Your Results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate

I agree on the histrionic and obsessive compulsive issues.

"Is it good juggling?"

I love the news

Sheriffs Sgt. James Parker said Martinez brought the sword from his home at a trailer park to show it to Flores.

The two were drinking together when the argument started, and Martinez allegedly stabbed Flores several times before striking Flores' mother, Parker said.

The woman's name was not released. She was hospitalized in good condition Thursday, officials said.

Drinking, death by sword, in a trailer park this story has it all.

"Is it good juggling?"

Hi, you have failed as a parent when......

CNN story

The Enforcer says stay in School

"Is it good juggling?"

One thing is not like the others

Here is a lineup of comedians for a ha ha sisterhood show.

Rosalie Bahmer, Linda Costello, Jaqi Furbach, Yarmilla Klimek, Terry Maxx, Cari Tillery and Kenna Winston

"Is it good juggling?"

too much comedy

This rules...from CNN:
Elizabeth, said she saw a man hit the ground after falling out of the ride, called the "Sizzler."

I don't know why a part from a story about a dude dying at a carnival ride makes me laugh. There is just something about that sentence that tickles me. Maybe it's the name of the ride I don't know.

Well in other news I did five shows this weekend at the Comedy Underground. I really enjoyed it I watched too much comedy it is freaking hard to host cause it means you have to pay attention and can't walk away from the show. The comics who were there were nice guys, I just got tired of watching comedy.

I will not go into their acts they did pretty well. Kevin Williams did really well at every show. I personally had probably some of the most well received sets that I've had in a while. The first show I got applause breaks after every joke, jesus that's a um nice crowd. What the fuck this stuff I'm saying ain't brilliant or anything, but thank you that is flattering. I got told at a couple of shows for the first time since I started that I was funnier then the headliner by people which is flattering, but doing ten minutes is different then 45. It was nice if not true. After the first show on Saturday Ron offered me a show in Bellingham last night which I went to and MC'd for Geoff Lott and Vince Valenzuela. The show was fun, but today I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I want to just go home right now and sleep for 12 hours.

I wonder how Meghan is doing in California, guess I'll read her blog.

The Enforcer says "Stay in School"

"Is it good juggling?"

holy smokes

Ok this is good.

At my job they had what was called a progressive party which means that it progresses up each floor and each floor would have a different theme. Myself and another guy chose the theme for my floor. 3rd floor was October fest 4th floor was Mexican and my floor was "High School Kegger". We made beer bongs had a "shotgunning" table and wine coolers and covered the floor with plastic. I put pictures of people puking all over the walls along with Iron Maiden pictures. I had no rhyme or reason I just like doing that. Anyway so I am not sure how everyone is going to take to the 'theme'. I don't really know anyone at the company so I feel like the odd man out. Well the Mexican theme was a huge success so I didn't think people were even going to go to the fifth floor. Well finally they did, and at first the beer bong wasn't getting any love. Then one of our big clients shows up and does it shoots beer all over his grossly expensive suit and it's on. For the next 2 hours I watched by best guesstimate 2-3 cases of beer go through the beer bong. I have never seen anything funnier then people dressed really well doing beer bongs like their 18. Well let me summarize the evening, I am now well liked here at the company and some chick puked outside my office. I call that a job well done.

Thank you and good day,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

One more

In the current administration you have a Dick a Bush and a Colin to round it out Condaleeza Rice is a Cunt!....Bang!

<>
The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

I need to get something off my chest

Monday night was an amazingly bad night of comedy. A break your will to live kind of night. By the end of the show I had no fight in me anymore, I just let them punch me.

Gabriel on his blog mentioned some of the worst jokes he had done, it's a great blog. Well
I did on stage on Monday one of the worst jokes I've ever conceived. I had a joke about the war that I wanted to do and that I like but I wanted to do two jokes. I came up with another Bush joke right after it. It was just horrible.

Here is the schlock I did on stage.

"I haven't seen an administration this full of shit ....since the last one. The difference is that the dick in office last time got a blowjob the Dick in office this time is going to make a Billion dollars from Halliburton".

Well how lame is this let's count the ways first I made a reference to Liewiensky I think that subject has been covered quite enough on stage thank you. Second the rest of it makes little sense to the premise and most importantly is more of an unfunny statement then a joke. When I do this joke I remind myself why I don't do political humor. I don't have insight into politics and should stay away from the subject altogether.

My latest joke is this

"I'd vote for Bush but Bush is a cunt" how is that....better.....that's what I thought I will leave the politics to those who read.

Thank you for listening,

Geoff The Enforcer Brousseau

"So does anyone here like Ludicris?"

For the man with the small cock on your list

I spent the weekend with my daughter in spokane, what an amazingly shitty that drive can be my god. I think I would rather take a freaking beating then do that right now.

Cock punch anyone you see driving this

I had a giant blow to my ego last night, I won't go into it.

I will say this my new stuff worked last night. I wrote some pseudo political stuff that worked and I wrote a whole bunch of stuff about rap that worked, so I am excited to do it in front of an actual crowd. I need to find a steady stage to do my time. I am always scrambling for weekend time. I hope that I can find a place that allows me to go up semi-regularily. I hate not knowing what I'm doing on the weekends until the last minute.

"Is it good juggling?"

Suicide pie: One mans journey

Well we did the show last night it seemed to go ok. The crowd was huge which was great for Meghan. I thought my set was ok, I've been doing a lot better lately so that didn't really measure up. I think the crowd was with me, but fuck it was ten minutes who cares either way.

I called my old pharmacy they still have my old prescription for happy pills. That is a good thing before I fucking kill myself. I am not dealing well right now, I think I may be having a nervous breakdown. More likely it is just deep depression. This is not a contest or anything but I think this is the most depressed I've ever been. I didn't have any fun at the show last night. I didn't want to hang out with anyone I felt really uncomfortable in the social situation. I had to stop myself from leaving after my set was done. I was so uncomfortable that I thought I was going to flip out. I'm glad no one I invited to show up showed up. My show wasn't my best and I wasn't exactly stoked to talk to anyone after the show. I'm glad I did the show but I'm also glad it's over. Of the comics I watched I thought Geoff Lott and Lizzy had the best sets, again not that it's a contest. Lizzy looked really comfortable more then I have seen her and lo and behold actually looked like she was having fun up there.

We got a whole bunch of new stuff for sketches which is kick ass. Hax is going to keep getting better and better and...

I wanted to drink last night to get out of my head, the fact that I didn't is a miracle. I knew it would help and I definitely considered it. I'm afraid of what is going to happen to me if I can't get some relief from the flat emotionless uncomfortable feeling I have 24 hours a day. Well I'm in the midst of taking care of it I hope I can move on to enjoying what is a truly great time in my life.

Yours in Melancholy,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

Happy Labor Day Weekend, now get to work!

I don't know about the rest of you but I had a pretty nice weekend. Friday I worked with Tracy and Geoff at Choi's Mongolian grill on next weeks show, then went to Laughs. Then I slept for 11 hours. Pretty sweet.

Saturday I had one of my favorite moments in Comedy. I went to do time at Giggles in front of Keith Stubbs I had fun, the first show I had some liquid methamphetimine in me and for the first time it kind of freaked me out. I was literally shaking before I went up. I have not had one since, although I have been pretty addicted to them for awhile. Thank you Killorn for another bad habit to add to the repetoire. Right before the second show started Marc Maron walked into Giggles with Mishna his beautiful very cool wife (who talked metal with me- I am a little in love) and hung out. Mishna went up and was very funny then it was my turn. I have to admit I was a little nervous because it's Marc Maron who's one of my fucking heros watching me. I had a set that I was proud of definitely the best of that night(meaning best set I had). Marc came out after my set came up to me told me I was funny then gave me a tag for one of my jokes.

That fucking rules.

I was floating for the rest of the night. For the love of god if I can ever get to a level that I have that effect on other comics I will feel satisfied.

Thank you Mr. Maron.

Speaking of which I have to go to Mishna's blog cause I told her I would talk some more metal with her. She dragged Marc to an Iron Maiden show btw. Ok this is why I fucking hate life why is this woman with someone else it always seems the very few really fucking cool women I meet are fucking married.

Sunday we filmed for Hax for 9 freakin hours. I was so exhausted by the time we were done. This is going to be a great bit though. I am so freakin excited about the show right now, so even though it took forever it was worth it. We did the skit with Tony Moser and Killorn who were so great about the whole thing. Tony has the patience of a saint we put that guy through hell. We trashed Killorn's house. Killorn was wonderful about the whole thing and very funny on the tape. I think this is going to be one of our best skits to date. I can't wait to see the finished product.

Well I am about to call the doctor and set up an appointment to deal with my myriad of medical conditions. Pinched nerve in my back which has been driving me to fucking suicidal thoughts as of late. The weird skin condition I have all over my body and the massive depression from my constant physical pain and weird skin problems oh and complete lack of exercise. I have to get my depression taken care of I have no sex drive I am lethargic 24 hours a day and did I mention I have no sex drive. I am starting to worry about ever feeling normal again. It seems that this is the worst bout of depression I've ever had. The main problem with it being that I don't have anything in my life going on that is really bothering me a great deal but I am dealing with this dibilitating depression. Truthfully right now and probably for the rest of the day and night I would rather sleep then get laid. I want to start exercising, but until I get rid of this lethargy I wont' have the ambition. I can barely take care of my apartment much less exercise. I tried to do some exercise yesterday. I did two situps then sat back down and said fuck it. That is fucking depressing.

I am sad,

The Enforcer
"Is it good juggling?"

Welcome to the "Pork Army"

<>As a new recruit to the "cause" I expect you to handle yourself with dignity and speak of Pork with the reverence it deserves. Pork died for your sins private so show some goddamn respect.

Take this quiz maggot:
Entertainment and learning opportunity
Mantras

Thank you brother Blake in Pork platoon alpha Beacon Hill division for these fine links.

Remember folks we are not alone

Over and out,

<>The Enforcer - Platoon leader Pork platoon Tango Lake Forest Park division

Stay in touch by letting me know the pork platoon you call home.

"Is it good juggling?"

This ain't over

Speak on brother Geoff:

It's a G.E.O.F.F. thing you wouldn't understand

A place I simply call 'home'.

Stop the ignorance, read before you judge a man's beliefs.

Take that,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

You're either with pork or against us all

Notice to all,

There are a few things I will not fucking put up with. One: talking poorly of pork Two: Talking poorly of Pork Three: Being interrupted Mid - Cutlet.

There have been circumstances that I think we all are aware of where I have been forced to carry the flag for pork once again. Why must this happen can't we all agree that Pork is above the morose. Goddamnit I plead to the good people in cyberspace please just leave my meat alone.

So are you with me! Let us not allow the naysayers nairdowells (hairless bad people) and other loose cannons to ruin the sanctuary we call the Internet.

Please it will only take a moment to ally yourself against the NPP (non pork-loving-sonsabitches) and stand with me as we slay the hordes of non-believers and feed their innards to the buzzards. I need a few good men and women to stand against these oppressors. Are you with me! Say it with me "NO JUSTICE NO PORK" "NO JUSTICE NO PORK". GODDAMMIT SCREAM IT INTO THE AIR LET THE WORLD KNOW WHERE YOU STAND!!

AHHHHHHHHH................................................................!!! (sounds of my desk being destroyed as I flip it over and jump through the adjacent window).

I need you and more importantly Pork needs you in this most precarious hour. Hold your ham sandwich high and let them know that you are sick of it and ain't takin it any more.

There are only two types of people in this world pork lovers and sonsabitches. What are you!

That is all,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"

ahhh yeah

I graduated last night from my program. What freaking relief, I want to do comedy so bad right now it's ridiculous.

I got an email from my daughter today that made me really happy. She told me loved me and that she misses me which for some reason even now that's she's six still makes me want to cry.

Her mom, her mom's friend, and my daughter stayed over on Sunday.

Her mom left me a wonderful note that was truthfully one of the nicest things anyone has ever written me. I am glad that her and I have put the past in the past, it is a freeing thing letting that stuff go. Everyone wins.

I did some new stuff at the open mic on Sunday that was pretty dark and somehow with my current delivery style they worked. I did ok on a dead night at Giggles which is a huge confidence inspiring deal. When you get a dead crowd to laugh that feels huge.

It also didn't hurt that I tore off my pants and talked into my cock like it was microphone. I'm surprised that I'm the first comic to think of doing that on stage. The crowds love it.

Take care and drive safely,

The Enforcer

"Is it good juggling?"